


bones of ribbon

by baetokkis



Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, ballet teacher joohyun, domestic fluff kinda?, lawyer seulgi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:07:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 31,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22258438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baetokkis/pseuds/baetokkis
Summary: Seulgi was sure of many things, including the fact that she could still be a great mom despite her crazy working hours.It’s only when her only son tells her he wants to take ballet lessons, and only when she meets ballet teacher Bae Joohyun, that she realizes how wrong she was all this time.
Relationships: Bae Joohyun | Irene/Kang Seulgi
Comments: 23
Kudos: 320





	1. take my efforts high above red hues

**Author's Note:**

> hey! i'm back with another oneshot that is a lot longer than the last one, but i hope you like it anyway <3
> 
> title from bones of ribbon - london grammar

If she were to be honest, there were many words Kang Seulgi would use to describe herself. First of all, she was a strong determined woman. She was a good friend, a loving mother. She liked to say she was proud of who she was, proud of the person she had become despite everything.

She was her own woman, after all.

However, as soon as she heard the request coming from the seven-year-old boy in front of her, she started to doubt that. Suddenly, she wasn't sure of anything else anymore.

Lowering her head so her eyes would be on his eyesight level and he wouldn’t feel scared of her, she couldn’t help but sigh with how restless the boy seemed, bouncing his right leg nervously.

She didn't blame him for feeling that way, not when she felt the same way herself.

“What was it that you said again?” Seulgi echoed slowly. Not because she hadn't listened, but because she was afraid she had misunderstood it.

They were sitting on the couch, enjoying one of the rare weekends Seulgi had without having to work from home, but even though it was supposed to be a relaxing afternoon, she could tell there was something bothering him. Still, when she asked him what it was, she had no idea _that_ would be his answer.

“Never mind. It's not a big deal anyways,” he quickly said in a disappointed tone, shaking his head to keep his thoughts away and getting up from the couch.

Before he could pull away though, Seulgi gripped his wrist gently, looking at him with an expression she hoped to be was soothing enough.

“Woojin... I just asked you to say it again,” she pleaded, trying not to sound rude or demanding.

The boy took a deep breath, as if preparing to drop life changing news. In a way, it really was.

“I want to have ballet lessons,” Woojin finally answered, looking at his mother's impassive stare with shimmery eyes.

“You want to have ballet lessons,” Seulgi repeated.

She frowned, trying to understand why this not-so-sudden request had shocked her so much.

It wasn't as if she hadn’t seen it coming; specially because, lately, she always saw him watching ballet videos in secret, but he wasn't as discreet as he thought he was.

Seulgi would often see him imitating a few steps in front of the large mirror of his room, piano solos echoing through the hallway, but she didn't believe he would take it forward.

Apparently she was wrong, and she wasn't sure how to feel about it.

  
  


.

  
  


The small room at the end of the hall was pitch-black when Seulgi unlocked the door. Not a sound could be heard in the house, but she swore that if she wasn’t alone, the other person would clearly hear fast her heart beat against her rib cage.

She took the first step into the room, turning on the lights with trembling fingers to see the mess. There were photo albums on the floor; her old dresser was completely covered in dust, and the dreaded boxes were lazily lying near the wall.

It was scary to come into this room after so many years, after so many things that happened, but again, she prided herself on being a strong woman. She could handle it, so she took another step – closer to the boxes this time.

Kneeling down, Seulgi took a deep breath, moving her fingers slowly to the top of one of the boxes and opening it.

Then, it was finally open and all her old belongings were exposed to her once more. Her breath hitched and her eyes began to sting. She slammed the box shut, pushing it aside.

She thought that the halfhearted try had been enough, so she started to walk away before she started to feel sick again.

Woojin really was a lot like her – more than Seulgi had imagined, and somehow the thought scared her a little. Because Kang Seulgi was, indeed, a lot of things, but unfortunately, she still needed to work on her courage.

  
  


.

  
  


It shouldn’t come as a surprise when Seulgi realized she was making her way toward one of Seoul's most renowned ballet schools, much less when she found herself outside one of the dance rooms, watching while a student was practicing.

She always did everything for Woojin.

Her eyes followed in wonder the ballerina in front of her, fascinated by how immersed for someone so young she was with the music and on her steps.

The girl was just a child, perhaps a little bit older than Woojin, but she seemed so experienced, so driven by what she was doing.

It was all fascinating – from the way her body flowed with the music to the her expression changed and followed the emotion of the notes.

“She's amazing, isn't she?”

Seulgi turned her neck in surprise to the voice that broke her train of thought. At her left, a woman looked at the same direction as her, to the dancer across the glass wall, but her eyes carried another kind of glow. A brighter one, with more intimate admiration.

“Yes, she is,” Seulgi said, an octave lower for being caught of guard.

It was only then that Seulgi noticed the way she was dressed – the black leotard that hugged her torso to the same-colored skirt, as well as the white tights that covered her legs. Her black hair was tied in a bun at the top of her head and she seemed to be barefaced, but still managed to look beautiful.

Seulgi almost gasped. Her beauty was overwhelming.

“I’m Joohyun. I'm a teacher here, from the kids’ class,” the stranger introduced herself, holding out her hand so Seulgi could shake it in greeting, and so she did.

“Seulgi,” she replied, her fingers slightly outlining the back of Joohyun's hand.

The skin was so soft against her touch that Seulgi wanted to continue tracing it, but her consciousness spoke louder and she soon released her hand, clumsily returning her own to the side of her body.

“Seulgi...” Joohyun hummed in acknowledgment, joy tugging at the corners of her lips. “Are you interested in ballet?”

“Oh no, I’m – I’m not looking for me,” Seulgi brittlely answer, full of uncertainty, after letting out a forced and embarrassed laugh.

“Your daughter?” The teacher once again asked, her soft voice sounding like a pleasant melody to Seulgi's ears.

“Son, actually,” Seulgi corrected, and despite trying to sound confident, she knew her insecurity was what had stood out.

Joohyun widened her eyes, looking offended by the way she reacted to the information.

“Oh gosh, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it like that,” she apologized before awkwardly adding, “It's just that we usually have more girls around here.”

“I understand. To be honest, I’m quite worried about it myself,” Seulgi assured, not at all affected by the teacher's comment.

It wasn't as if Joohyun could predict that her _son_ would be interested in ballet. The thought alone surprised Seulgi herself, even if she was already expecting it to happen.

“Is it worth it?” Seulgi asked before she could stop herself.

Joohyun stared at her, confused. She had her arms crossed above her chest, but despite her serious pose, she didn't look the least bit intimidating.

“What do you mean?”

Seulgi shrugged. She didn't know what she was saying. Her fears seemed to be piling up and forcing her to chatter without having control of the logical order of what she said.

“You know... dancing and teaching kids to do the same. Is it worth it?”

“It can be tiring,” the teacher admitted. Her lips turned into a pout and she furrowed her brows as she thought about it more. “Most kids don’t have much motor coordination while the older ones in the class can be quite cocky. It’s a bit exhausting, but it’s rewarding.”

“But do you like it?” Seulgi asked again, barely letting the woman finish. “Teaching, dancing, the balance of the two... do you like it?”

Joohyun looked straight into Seulgi's eyes, completely still, as if she _knew_ why Seulgi was asking that kind of question. She didn't know, of course, but Seulgi couldn't help shuddering under the gaze, feeling like Joohyun could read right through her, that everything was exposed to her.

“Yes, I like it. I can't imagine myself doing something else,” Joohyun answered, and Seulgi seemed to be pleased by it. Or maybe she’d run out of questions.

She glanced back at the girl in the dance room who was now heading out and she could easily see how she was even happier after finishing her practice.

Seulgi bit her lower lip. Wasn't it worth the shot?

“I'll take care of him,” Joohyun promised, softly, as she noticed the look on Seulgi’s face.

The teacher's eyes twinkled, and another shy smile was already making itself present on her lips. Her movements were so calculated, Seulgi noticed, the gentle way she carried herself bringing a sense of familiarity yet strangeness to the pit of her stomach.

And she wasn't sure if that had been the reason she had given in so easily, or if it was the teacher's eyes that made her surrender, but when she finally came back to the real world, Seulgi was returning to the office with an enrollment receipt in the pocket of her blazer.

  
  


.

  
  


It was taking longer than she expected.

Sure, Seulgi knew that talking to powerful men about business over dinner when she was the only woman among them would wear her out, but she didn't expect it to be that much.

Other than the fact that it was uncomfortable, to say the least, when the subject began to fluctuate between trivial matters and she needed to make them focus on closing that deal again.

The only reason she’d agreed to go to that dinner in the first place had been the promise one of them made to sign a contract to associate Seulgi's law firm with an influential corporation and was taking forever to be sealed, but she was starting to lose her patience. She could only think about how late it was, about the enrollment receipt she still carried in her blazer pocket and the boy who was waiting for her at home.

Even so, she managed to concentrate most of the time, although her head was a mess. A mess that alternated between deals that needed to be closed soon in order to return home to a bright smile she was already missing.

Then, dinner was finally over, the signed contract was placed in a briefcase and quickly stored in her purse. Seulgi gave a polite farewell smile, heading toward the car after paying the bill.

She was tired, exhausted even, but was suddenly motivated when thinking about Woojin's smile when she got home. And so she started driving.

  
  


.

  
  


Carefully turning the keys on the doorknob, Seulgi pushed open the door to her house. There was a dim light coming in the living room to prevent the place from falling into complete darkness.

She struggled not to make any noise, leaning against the wall with her right hand and taking off her heels with the other. It wasn’t a rare occasion when she needed to wear them, but that didn’t make it hurt any less at the end of the day.

That particular day, having spent most of her time just sitting, she imagined she would be less sore, but apparently, arguing with ignorant men made her as exhausted as hours of physical activity.

Stealing a glance to the clock on her wall, Seulgi noticed how late she was. She’d spent more than four hours at this boring dinner after expecting to spend no more than one. She would need to make up to him, _again_.

Seulgi finally stepped into the living room, only to find the scene she imagined she would see.

Seungwan was sitting on the wide fabric sofa, legs crossed as Woojin used them as a pillow. His small body was wrapped in a blanket much larger than he was, leaving only his face visible where his lips were parted and soft snores could be heard.

“He wouldn't let me put him to bed. He said you would take him.” Seungwan said as soon as she saw her friend walking toward them, a brief smile on her face that reflected easily on Seulgi.

“How long has he been asleep?” Seulgi asked Seungwan, her face twisting in disappointment.

The other woman sighed, looking as tired as Seulgi, and that was all the answer she needed. Seulgi closed her eyes, running her fingers through her hair.

“I thought I'd be home earlier,” she tried to justify, even though she knew she owed no satisfaction to her best friend.

“Things happen,” Seungwan said in a calming voice she hoped it would be enough for Seulgi to believe it.

She was aware of how much Seulgi's work demanded of her and that at some point things like this would happen, but she would always assure Seulgi that she wasn't a bad mother because of it.

“I know, I just...” Seulgi started, but had no idea how to continue, so she just let her shoulders drop a little.

She sighed, trying to push those thoughts away, and held out her arms to take her son to bed. The boy did not even oppose, unlike what he had done with Seungwan, as if he recognized his mother only by touch and scent. Thinking about it made Seulgi smile.

After placing him on his bed, Seulgi watched the boy's features tenderly, running her hand through the wavy brown hair that covered his forehead. She placed a chaste kiss on the spot and pulled the blanket on him again before leaving the room and meeting Seungwan on the hallway.

“Thank you for staying with him, Seungwan. And I'm sorry again for being late.” She said, closing the door slowly and leaning against the wall.

Seungwan shook her head, making it clear that she didn't do it out of obligation.

“I don't mind that, you’re the one who’s always so demanding with yourself,” she pointed out, while looking at Seulgi with attentive eyes. “You should leave him at my place some day and actually go out, just not for business dinners.”

Seulgi let out a laugh.

“You know I can't, Wannie.”

Seungwan just shrugged, as if she was already expecting that answer.

“I just think you don't want to, but...”

Seulgi looked at her with an arched eyebrow, which only caused Seungwan to raise her hands in the air and stop what she was saying.

“Never mind, I never said a thing.” She surrendered when she saw her friend's expression. “See you tomorrow, Seul. Try to get some rest.”

Seulgi just waved goodbye, leaning against the hallway wall to wait for her to leave. She soon heard the house door close as she let her mind wander, trying to remember when it was the last time she'd gone out for fun and not because of her job.

Seungwan soon left, and the house felt too empty again, but she pretended not to mind her own footsteps echoing in her ears and returned to her son’s bedroom, wrapping the boy in her arms. Before she could move more comfortably, though, Seulgi felt the boy's arms stiffen at her shoulders.

“Mom?” he whispered in her ear.

“It's me, kiddo.” Seulgi kissed his earlobe, laughing when she felt more hair than skin against her lips. “We need to get your hair cut soon.”

“Okay...” Woojin replied, still sleepy.

When he released her mother's arms, he waited for her to take the cue to leave as she did most nights, but instead, Seulgi stayed in place.

Lazily, Woojin opened one eye, staring at his mother wearing her formal attire as she hugged him, though it seemed that she was ready to sleep.

“I have a surprise for you,” Seulgi announced, realizing he was curious with her odd behavior.

Woojin frowned, turning on the bed to get a better look at her.

“I don't want any gifts.”

Seulgi laughed softly and Woojin saw that her laugh was still tense and strange, but she seemed excited for some reason, and that made him happy. It had been a while since he had seen her like this.

“I think you'll want this one.” Seulgi pulled back a little so that she could reach into her blazer pocket and take the piece of paper inside of it.

She turned on the lamp, sitting on the bed and asking him to do the same. Woojin was still sleepy, but curious enough to do the same, so he sat down and carefully took the paper she was holding in her hands.

Seulgi looked at the boy with eyes full of anticipation, waiting for him to read what it was saying.

He was still learning, so she remained patient as his eyes darted across the sheet of paper, and her lips tightened in a thin line suddenly changed into a smile when she noticed that his mouth was open in shock.

“You can start this week... if you want to,” Seulgi tried to explain, but before she even finished it, Woojin's arms were around her shoulders again and his face was buried in her neck.

“Thank you.” His voice was shaky and noticing how much that meant to him made Seulgi's heart squeeze in a good way. “Thank you, mom, I love you.”

She smiled, hugging him tighter.

Of course, she was still scared, still doubtful of what that change would mean to her as well as to him. But Seulgi loved him and Woojin would always come first. So she made sure he knew.

“I love you too, Woojin.”

  
  


.

  
  


She couldn't take him to ballet school for his first class because of her work, as usual, so Seungwan took him there for her.

The fact that when she said goodbye to Woojin in the morning he smiled excitedly as he always did made her confidence grow a little. Maybe not much, but enough to make her survive throughout the day.

But still, Seulgi was not so confident. For the rest of the afternoon, she kept checking her phone, scared that something might happen and that the school would call her with a problem. She knew some kids could be mean when they wanted to and that was what scared her the most.

When there wasn’t any call at the end of the day, Seulgi was expecting perhaps another hug when he came back, hoping that he would gladly tell her everything that happened on his first class.

However, as soon as Woojin entered the house, Seulgi could only see him going straight to his room, not even sparing her a glance, too discouraged to do anything else.

  
  


.

  
  


“I don't know what to do, Wannie,” Seulgi told her best friend when she came home from work one day.

Seungwan was at her house again, watching Woojin until he fell asleep and waiting for her to return from work.

It had been almost a month since Woojin had started his classes, but Seulgi didn't know much about them yet. Of course, she knew that woman she talked to on that day, Joohyun, was his teacher, but nothing more than that.

“It will get better, don't worry,” Seungwan assured her, sounding encouraging as usual. “Woojin is a lot like you, that's how I know he'll get over whatever happened and tell you.”

Seulgi wasn't so sure, but she believed in her best friend. And so she hoped Seungwan was right.

  
  


.

  
  


Seulgi left work earlier on one of those afternoons, despite her nerves, to go to Woojin's ballet school and get an idea of what was going on. She doubted it was a serious problem, otherwise she would have gotten a call from them, but it wasn't a bad idea to check.

The building looked less familiar than she expected, or the empty corridors were giving her that vibe, she wasn't sure. But before she could figure out where Woojin's room was or where she could find someone to talk about, the boy soon appeared at the reception, his teacher at his side.

“Seulgi…” She smiled, her hand still resting on the boy's left shoulder.

“Joohyun,” Seulgi said, her posture tense.

She looked at her son anxiously, but when her vision fell on him, Woojin seemed a little bit different. The change wasn’t very noticeable at first glance, but when she paid enough attention, Seulgi could see his shoulders more relaxed, his expression more serene.

She looked at Joohyun again, and when she noticed the corners of her lips tugging up to a smile, Seulgi was sure she had something to do with it.

Woojin waved his head to the teacher before he started to walk away, hugging her mother around the waist tightly.

On the last few weeks, his hugs were more sloppy than meaningful, so Seulgi now knew for sure something had happened for him to hug her like that again.

“Do you want to go somewhere before we go home?” Seulgi asked excitedly, running her fingers through the soft strands at the top of his head.

Woojin nodded against her mother's stomach, and bending down to leave a kiss on where she was caressing, she let go, pointing to the car parked outside the school door.

“Wait for me in the car, okay?”

Woojin nodded obediently, and after taking the car keys from his mother, he waved goodbye to the teacher before running to the parking lot.

Joohyun watched the interaction closely, and realizing that Seulgi would like to talk to her, she stayed still. But Seulgi remained motionless, as if the words were stuck in her throat.

“Woojin is very dedicated, but he’s very demanding of himself for anyone of his age,” Joohyun decided to say instead of waiting.

Seulgi nodded.

“He looks better today,” she said tentatively. “More... motivated, maybe?”

Joohyun beamed.

“It was a good day.”

And Seulgi was quick to mirror the teacher's expression. She seemed to do that a lot in her presence.

  
  


.

  
  


In the days that followed, Seulgi couldn't help noticing how different Woojin looked. He wasn't as discouraged as when he started school, which made Seulgi think she had overreacted in the first place, but she knew it wasn't just that.

Maybe he was just shy. It shouldn't be easy to adapt on the first few days since the class was already formed before he joined, so Seulgi figured that might have been it.

But still, his mood changed a little every day, each day better than the last, and remembering their last conversation, Seulgi began to suspect that Joohyun had a finger on that.

“You're distracted again,” Seungwan suddenly said.

Seulgi glanced at her best friend over the papers she was organizing, watching her enter her office with what Seulgi supposed to be the lunch Seungwan had promised to bring.

“I'm thinking about Woojin. He seems happier,” Seulgi explained, setting the files aside to make room for the food bags Seungwan had brought.

“He does!” Seungwan cheerfully agreed. “When I went to pick him up the other day, he was so happy talking to the teacher.”

Seulgi smiled, not at all surprised by the statement. Her suspicions seemed to be even more likely now.

“She's nice, isn't she?” Seungwan said again, noticing the look on her best friend's face. “The teacher,” she quickly added, but by the looks of it, Seulgi already knew what she meant.

And she had a dreamy smile on her lips to confirm.

“She is.”

  
  


.

  
  


Seulgi made sure to show up again at school the next day, after Woojin's class were over, which had actually been the only free time she had that day, even if it was just for a few hours.

She waited at the front desk for a few minutes, and despite being a short time, Seulgi never imagined that it could take so long. Or maybe it was her anxiety speaking louder.

Shortly after, though, a familiar figure emerged through the vast corridor that separated the reception from the practice rooms.

Joohyun was different, this time wearing casual clothes, nothing more than a low-cut blouse and dark jeans, while her black hair fell free over her bare shoulders.

Before Seulgi could do anything to get her attention, the woman was already distracted looking for something in her purse.

Seulgi then stood up, hoping that Joohyun would see she was there, but it wasn't until they were side by side that Joohyun noticed that she wasn’t as alone as she imagined.

“Seulgi!” Joohyun said, surprised, realizing that Seulgi was standing in the middle of the reception, as if waiting for her. Her hands searching for something in her purse, immediately went to her chest, and Seulgi assumed she was very easily startled. Which was cute, judging by the expression on her face. “You’re here again.”

“I’m here,” Seulgi repeated, putting her hands in the pockets of her pants.

“Woojin left with that blonde who usually comes to pick him up,” Joohyun commented, not even considering the possibility of Seulgi coming to see someone else.

“Oh, I know. I was here looking for you, actually.”

Joohyun's eyes widened.

“For me?”

“Yes...” Seulgi started uncertainly. She ran her fingers through her brown hair, though Joohyun remained quiet in front of her. "I'm not sure what you did with Woojin or what you did _for_ him, but... thank you."

"I didn’t do anything, Seulgi." Joohyun shook her head.

“I know my son,” Seulgi said, hoping that was enough explanation. She took a deep breath, before adding, “So thank you.”

Joohyun moved her index finger in the air, not making a big deal out of it, and stepped forward. Joohyun's lips slid into an open smile, more relaxed than all the previous ones.

“I don't make empty promises.”

Seulgi smiled, her hand shaking slightly as she put it around her waist. She didn't know why she was acting this way, so unprepared and restless around the woman, but she couldn't help the feeling.

“How do you feel about coffee?” Seulgi offered, but all she got was a wrinkled nose from Joohyun until she answered, halfheartedly.

“Not really a fan.”

Seulgi sighed in disappointment.

“And tea?” she tried, hopeful.

The corners of Joohyun's lips lifted again.

“I like it.”

And Seulgi smiled too.

“So, would you like to have some tea with me?”

  
  


.

  
  


The place was almost empty when they arrived. There was only one couple hiding in one corner, talking excitedly, and a man in a suit by the window. Seulgi went ahead, picking a table for them in a not-so-exposed but not-too-hidden place either.

She sat quietly and crossed her legs as she took the menu in her hands, her back completely straight. Joohyun watched with admiration her posture, getting distracted from everything else around them.

“Which one would you like?” Seulgi gently asked, giving the menu to Joohyun, who seemed to be in deep though.

Joohyun bit her lower lip, choosing a drink and showing it to Seulgi. The woman nodded and got up to go to the counter to make the order.

Soon, she was back with both of them, giggling as she placed Joohyun's tea on her side of the table. What she was laughing at, Joohyun wasn't sure.

“I never came here before,” Joohyun said, as her bright eyes wandered the coffee shop.

“Really?” Seulgi asked, amazed, and the teacher nodded shyly.

“Yeah… I don't usually go out much.” She sipped on her drink. Joohyun then stared at Seulgi, seeming to only notice her formal attire at that moment. “So, what do you do?”

“I'm a lawyer,” Seulgi answered, noticing the look of the woman in her clothes. “I'm a co-founder of a law firm here in Seoul.”

“A lawyer...” Joohyun repeated, her lips suddenly twisting into a pout. “That sounds demanding.”

Seulgi nodded, wondering.

“It can be, yes.”

“Have you always wanted to be a lawyer?” Joohyun asked softly, her fingertips tracing the top of the cup.

Seulgi seemed surprised by the question, but Joohyun figured she must be really good at her job, because when she looked again Seulgi already carried the same relaxed expression as before.

“Yes.” The answer came out weak, filtered as if she was afraid to say more than she should, but Joohyun didn't think much about it. She was just trying to small talk anyway.

She took another sip and sighed in pleasure as the liquid reached her tongue again. It tasted amazing.

Seulgi looked at her and her narrowed lips split into a slight smile.

Suddenly, seeming to notice something, Joohyun's eyes flew open while still drinking her tea.

Seulgi tried not to think how lovely she was that way – with her eyes wide open and her mouth still covering the straw.

“I never had a chance to ask your question back,” Joohyun admitted, as if that was absurd.

The lawyer tried to hide her confusion, but before she could, she already felt the question slipping from her mouth, “What question?”

“When we met, you asked me if I liked my job. Do you like yours?”

Seulgi seemed to think about it for a while, before answering it with caution.

“Yes, I think so. I'm good at it and I earn enough to live comfortably, so, yes, I like it.” Seulgi shrugged, focusing on her drink.

A beat of silence, neither of them seeming to know what to say to get out of it. That is until Joohyun decided to speak again.

“Why did you bring me here?” she asked, and Seulgi's eyebrows rose in surprise.

“I wanted to thank you.”

Joohyun laughed lightly, tapping the cup with her fingertips.

“You already did that.”

“I'm doing it again.”

Joohyun snorted, but it didn't seem like a scolding, only that she didn't understand why Seulgi would care so much.

But she was different, Joohyun could see clearly.

Everything about her was unique in so many ways she couldn't describe it, but it still reminded her so much of someone. Someone small, who also had monolid brown eyes and heart-shaped nostrils.

“Looking at you again, I can see how much you look like Woojin,” she said on impulse, and suddenly felt stupid for it. He was her son; of course they would look alike.

Seulgi, on the other hand, looked happy upon hearing the comparison.

“Why’s that?”

Joohyun laughed, unsure what to say when the last sentence seemed to have been self-explanatory enough. But it was true, she saw a lot of Woojin in her, so she could elaborate. It wasn’t a physical similarity, even if they had the same eyes, nose and smile, but something else too.

“I don’t know. I just think you’re both very similar. More than just looks.” Joohyun wanted to flick her forehead for the obvious explanation, but once she noticed Seulgi smiling, she was pleased by her own answer, so she added, "If I'm right... that means you’re just as demanding of yourself as he is."

“Isn't that a good thing?” Seulgi hoped to sound casual, but the twitch in the corner of her lip betrayed her.

It _was_ a good thing. If she was demanding of herself she could be good enough at her job and make enough money to give Woojin the life he deserved.

Joohyun, on the other hand, didn’t feel the same way.

“Not when it keeps you from really living.”

  
  


.

  
  


“And then, what happened?” The boy asked, his eyes staring straight into Seulgi’s brown orbs with so much warmth and love the woman couldn’t help but feel her heart soften.

She let a laugh part her lips, brushing the hair away from his face so she could look back at him with the same admiration.

“Aren’t you tired of hearing this same story?” Seulgi asked, wrapping her arms around the body much smaller than her own. “It’s not like it’s going to change anything whenever I tell it.”

Woojin shut his mouth, suddenly embarrassed.

He couldn’t say the reason he’d always ask his mom to tell him bedtime stories, could he? It would be selfish of him. His mother was a busy woman and he understood that. He really did.

Ever since his dad died it was just him and her, together along the way. And then she got a promotion, and soon a better job, and now she was one of the top lawyers in Seoul. It was selfish of him to say to her face he just asked her to tell him stories because that was the only time of the day she was ever free to even do anything with him.

“I just like it,” he replied, instead, and even though Seulgi could almost see through his lies, she didn’t insist.

And so she continued, telling him the same story she used to hear from her mom when she herself was a kid.

But soon enough, her voice started to sound muffled to the boy’s ears, and it seemed she was too drowsy to even focus on what she was saying, because Seulgi had repeated the same sentence three times already.

Woojin expected something like this to happen, to be honest, but he wasn’t disappointed.

The boy decided to adjust himself on the bed, hoping they could sleep together that night, but he noticed he might’ve shifted a little bit too hard, because when he looked at his mother again, her eyes were open wide, as if in shock.

And then she went on, continuing the story where she remembered she had stopped.

Woojin tried to muffle a laugh when he noticed she was telling the same thing she told before, when she was probably to sleepy to notice.

He snuggled closer, hugging his mother tightly and closing his eyes, knowing she would soon fall asleep too.

  
  


.

  
  


The next morning, things were hectic as usual. Seulgi was rushing through the kitchen to cook something for them to have breakfast (mostly Woojin, because she could never really eat in the morning) and was flipping through the lockers and the freezer for something quick to cook.

Woojin felt guiltier than usual, knowing they were only this late because Seulgi slept in his room that night and she usually lost track of time whenever that happened, which resulted in them waking up later than it should.

“Mom, it’s okay. My class only starts in thirty minutes,” Woojin reminded her and Seulgi looked up at him (literally up, because she was busy fumbling around the locker under the sink to find something).

She bit her lower lip, avoiding to say anything, and Woojin didn’t take long to understand what that look meant.

“Oh. You have a meeting?” he asked, trying not to sound too disappointed when realizing she was not worried about his classes, but her appointments.

“I do, baby. I’m sorry,” Seulgi answered, seeming disappointed herself.

“It’s okay. I can buy something at school.” Woojin suggested lightly, and seeming defeated, Seulgi sighed.

“It’s been really stressful these last few days.”

The boy nodded, understanding. He was patient, as usual – _too_ patient for a seven-year-old kid.

“I know. Don’t worry,” he reassured her, grabbing an apple as he sat on the couch already wearing his uniform and carrying his backpack on one of his hands. He shoved the fruit in the side pocket, carelessly throwing the backpack on his left shoulder. “I’m ready to go.”

Seulgi nodded.

“Hey, what do you think of…?” She stopped, seeming to consider her next words. “Would it be okay if I picked you up at school today?”

His eyes lit up, impressed, and Seulgi felt her heart sink. How neglecting was she for him to be so happy about something that small?

“Of course it would!”

She grinned, grabbing her keys on the counter. “Then let’s take you to school.”

  
  


.

  
  


Before, Seungwan used to pick up Woojin from regular school and drop him off at the ballet school after taking him to lunch while Seulgi finalized some pending issues at the firm. She would later finish her part-time job and pick him up in class so that they could return to Seulgi's house and wait for her to come back.

It was easier for Seungwan to find free time. She was a journalist and usually worked from home, so all she needed was a computer and her glasses and she could do her job just fine.

Now, however, was different. Seulgi made sure she’d always have her lunch period free so she could at least pick him up and drop him off at home with Seungwan. They started to have lunch together, and to talk about Woojin’s day.

Sometimes she just had time to take him to Seungwan's house whenever her friend could take care of him and went straight back to the office. Other times, she would take him to the office with her, and while the boy was playing something at her phone, Seulgi would finish making adjustments in one of the contracts.

It wasn't much, and he probably felt the same. But for now, that was all she could do.

  
  


.

  
  


“And you’re back,” Joohyun said in a sing-song voice, her steps coming to a halt next to Seulgi.

She was wearing casual clothes again, a pair of jeans and a sweater a little darker than her skin. It was a funny contrast to the work clothes Seulgi always appeared wearing.

“Hope you didn’t miss me too much,” she said again, trying not to cringe at her lame attempt of humor, but Seulgi was really a good actress, because she just laughed and went along.

“Sure. I couldn't stay two more days away from you,” Seulgi playfully added, and she was pleased when Joohyun let out a more relaxed laugh.

“I didn't know you valued my company that much.”

Seulgi laughed, crossing her arms over her chest.

She would answer something, probably some supposedly clever joke, but before she could do anything, wavy brown hair appeared in the wide hallway that separated the reception from the practice rooms, and Seulgi felt her body jerk back slightly as small arms wrapped around her waist.

“Hey, baby. How was your day today?” she asked, running her fingers through his hair as soon as she felt Woojin hugging her.

It had been one of those days, one of which she barely had time to breathe properly and because of that Seulgi hadn’t seen him after leaving him at school in the morning.

“It was great,” he enthusiastically answered.

Seulgi would’ve found it funny if she didn’t remember how gloomy he used to leave the ballet school, so all she could do was smile with relief.

“Want to tell me about it?” she asked, and he nodded, almost opening his mouth to speak, but Seulgi cut him off softly. “Over dinner… or lunch, I’m not sure which one it is.”

“Mom, it’s four in the afternoon. It’s not either of them,” Woojin corrected, and she laughed.

“Of course, Woojinnie... let’s just eat.” She poked his forehead jokingly, and when she looked up, she saw Joohyun’s eyes were still on them, admiringly.

Seulgi had completely forgotten she was in the room. And suddenly, she had an idea. She wasn’t sure if it was the best idea, but before she could stop herself, she was already asking, “Hey, Joohyun. Would you like to go with us?”

The teacher seemed shocked and if it wasn’t for the blush on her face, Seulgi would’ve regretted it.

“Oh, no, I don’t think to intrude,” Joohyun answered, hesitantly, but the lack of confidence in her own words only made Seulgi’s determination grow.

“Come on, Joohyun,” Seulgi tried to convince her, but Joohyun shook her head once more.

Another apology was almost blurting out of the teacher’s tongue when Seulgi felt Woojin’s hands leaving the comfort of her back to tug at the older woman’s sleeve.

“Please, Miss Bae?” he asked, his eyes gleaming in the light.

Joohyun gazed at the boy who was pulling the sleeve of her sweater and then at the woman behind him, smiling mischievously, and sighed.

“I hope this isn’t another excuse to thank me again.”

Seulgi smiled wider, knowing that Woojin had convinced her. It was nice to know she wasn’t the only one who fell for that trick.

  
  


.

  
  


Lunch was quiet. She knew Woojin didn’t talk much when there was another adult with them, but whenever Joohyun said anything, she always made sure to involve him somehow.

Seulgi thought it was endearing.

“So, how did you end up as a teacher?” Seulgi asked when their food arrived, trying to be polite, but mostly because she was genuinely curious.

She wasn’t trying to be rude or anything, but the last thing she would think if she had met Joohyun under other circumstances was that she was a teacher. Not a regular kindergarten or mid-school teacher or anything like that, but a ballet teacher.

“Oh, funny story.” Joohyun laughed, looking flustered at the thought. “I went to med school first.”

Seulgi’s eyes widened in surprise, and beside her, Woojin spoke before she could.

“You wanted to be a doctor?” he asked, just as surprised as his mother.

Joohyun waved it off, like it was nothing.

“I think I did, some day. But it wasn’t for me,” she clarified, as if that would explain everything. But of course, it didn’t.

“Why did you decided to teach, then?” Woojin asked again, fully invested.

Joohyun shrugged.

“I always liked to dance and I was already in the middle of med school when I decided to study dance professionally,” she replied, not tearing her eyes away from her drink.

Seulgi was _intrigued._ They were similar, yet so different. While Joohyun gave up something she didn’t like to follow her dreams, Seulgi gave up her dreams to… t o _what,_ exactly? She still wasn’t sure.

“It was… A roller-coaster of emotions, to say the least. But I’m here now,” she concluded, finally taking a sip of her juice.

Seulgi's frown deepened when she realized something.

“Is it recent?” she asked, because Joohyun didn’t seem so young anymore, but she also didn’t seem old. To have given up med school in the middle of it, it should at least be something recent.

The blush on Joohyun’s cheeks increased and she smiled shyly.

“Woojin’s class is the first one I’m teaching.” And even though she seemed coy as she spoke, there was also pride in her tone.

Seulgi did a quick calculation.

“Four months now?” she tried, remembering the class Woojin was in started a couple of months before he joined.

Joohyun nodded.

“Four months now.”

“It doesn’t seem like it,” Woojin prompted in, smiling. He put a piece of broccoli on his mouth, chewing on it slowly before saying again: “You’re a really good teacher, Miss Bae.”

The woman smiled, pulling her hand up to play with his hair lovingly.

“Thank you, Woojin-ah,” she answered, and before pondering a bit, she added, “You can call me noona if you’d like.”

He smiled, before dipping on to his food again. Seulgi looked over at her son again, seeming to wait for him to be distracted with the food before picking all of the greens on her plate and placing them aside.

The action didn’t go unnoticed by Joohyun, who called her attention with a soft, “What are you doing?”

Seulgi seemed taken aback by the question, but replied with a hushed, “Be quiet.”

Joohyun laughed, making Woojin look at her weird, but she pretended she hadn’t seen it. She knew she couldn’t tell Woojin, because if she did, he could use it against Seulgi soon.

And so they continued eating.

They finished it in silence. Not an awkward silence, but one that didn’t demand any of them talking. It was quite comfortable, to be honest.

The first time they went out together, Seulgi couldn’t really shake the feeling of awkwardness off. But as she sat on a diner with Joohyun in front of her and Woojin by her side, she thought she might get used to it.

It was a good night.

Soon, though, it ended, and Joohyun shyly asked for Seulgi’s number, claiming it might be useful for the future.

They parted ways there and Seulgi drove home with a smile on her face that didn’t go unnoticed by Woojin, but he said nothing about it.

When they got home, fifteen minutes later, Seulgi felt her phone buzzing on her pocket and fished it out quickly thinking it might be an emergency at work, but when she noticed what it was, her smiled only turned into a huge grin.

_**Thank you for today, I had fun. Next time, though, please make sure to eat your vegetables.** _

  
  


.

  
  


It became more frequent than she liked to admit.

They texted a lot, it was a fact. More than a parent and a teacher shout text, but they didn’t care.

Sometimes, Joohyun would send Seulgi a picture of Woojin at their break, or a short video of him practicing a new choreography, and Seulgi would text her back just as enthusiastically.

They met a lot more often too. With each other’s numbers, they would often set up a date to coffee or anything else. Mostly because Seulgi asked and Joohyun didn’t have the heart to say no.

“So, there’s this teacher at the school who keeps asking me to go out on a date with him,” Joohyun blurted out one day, when they were at a diner near the school, pretending it wasn’t a big deal as she kept her eyes on her drink.

It was still morning and she was just leaving Woojin in class when she received a text from Joohyun asking if they could meet. A good change, Seulgi would say, since she was always the one who asked if they could go out together.

Seulgi, on the other hand, was suddenly focused. They didn’t talk much about their private life, or at least, not like this, but she couldn’t deny she was curious.

“Why don’t you?” she asked back, and all the teacher could do was let out a skeptic laugh, but remain quiet. Seulgi thought she might’ve crossed a line, so she shook her head. “Oh, I get it. Sorry I asked.”

“No, it’s nothing like that. I’m just not interest in him… or any guy,” Joohyun was quick to assure, not seeming the least bit bothered by the question. “And he’s so, so rude. When I was leaving to come here he kept asking me random questions and telling me how pretty he thinks I am.”

“You really are pretty, Joohyun,” Seulgi said, with a teasing smirk that made Joohyun want to throw something at her, but the only thing she had on her was a napkin and that probably wouldn’t work well as she hoped.

“You can be really… disconcerting to talk to,” Joohyun murmured, embarrassed, and Seulgi’s smirk just turned out into a large grin.

“Because I’m pretty too?” The lawyer asked, and Joohyun just wanted to hide her face at the greasiness.

“You’re terrible,” she said, instead, making Seulgi laugh.

“Look, just try to be honest with him. Say you’re not interested, or something like that,” Seulgi decided to say. Scrunching her nose, she realized how vague that suggestion was. “Probably not the best advise coming from someone who hadn’t had this issue in… what? Four years now?” Seulgi laughed, trying to make it less awkward.

It didn’t work.

“Relationships are complicated,” Joohyun answered honestly.

“I wouldn’t know. About relationships, I mean,” she said, chuckling awkward. It was sad even, to think her dating experience was that low.

“But…” Joohyun begun, thinking about Woojin’s father, but stopped herself from going on.

Seulgi didn’t really talk about him, and she had no right to pry, did she? Of course, they were closer now, but that didn’t mean they were intimate friends.

Seulgi shook her shoulders, apparently noticing Joohyun’s hesitance.

“My first relationship was great. He was great, I mean. Woojin’s father,” she started, tapping her fingers nervously on the wooden table. “But then he died before we even got married, and it was nerve-wrecking, but I had Woojin with me and I was okay, I think.” Seulgi swallowed hard.

It was so strange talking about the past after all this time. But then again, Seungwan was the only friend she’d ever had these last few years and she was right – she needed to open up to someone else. She needed to make more friends. And she was trying.

Joohyun was a friend… wasn’t she?

“And I met someone else. He seemed nice at first, but it wasn’t meant to be,” Seulgi finished, treating it casually instead of throwing onto the woman all the failures of her previous relationship. It probably wasn’t the best way to make friends.

“You know, my ex was busy all the time and she never had time for us to do something together. It was so exhausting, we couldn’t even…” she suddenly stopped, her eyes widening.

Seulgi just stared at her, realization hitting her. _Her_ ex – a _woman._

“Oh,” she said, in aftershock. “Is that why you’re not interested in that teacher?”

“Yeah,” Joohyun said, in a wisp of a voice.

It was the first time saying that out loud after a long, long time. It felt good, her heart was beating fast at Seulgi’s warm look, but she was confused whether it was because she wasn’t expecting her to be this understanding or… something else.

“But mostly because he’s annoying,” she added playfully, and Seulgi only smiled at her.

She brushed it off, and Seulgi could almost hear her brain functioning. Joohyun was probably worried about what she was thinking, so she decided to speak again.

“I gave up, eventually. The whole dating thing isn’t for me.”

Joohyun frowned at the revelation.

“You shouldn’t.”

Seulgi looked up from her plate, staring at glowing brown orbs. Joohyun was _so_ beautiful it was disarming.

“You shouldn’t give up,” the teacher said, carefully. “You’re great, Seul. I’m sure you’ll find someone.”

“I don’t mind,” Seulgi said. “I’m okay with having only Woojin. And I have a job, a best friend. I have you, too,” she sheepishly added. She hoped Joohyun felt the same way about her. “Relationships might be difficult, but this isn’t.”

Her mind jumped back to her hardships – between working at an important job in a sexist company, struggling to deal with her own issues that only developed as time went by, being a single mom.

She had Seungwan, of course, her best friend had been there ever since they were kids, and she had Woojin, but that didn’t stop her from feeling lonely sometimes.

She wondered when was the last time she’d ever had time to herself – to enjoy herself.

It wasn’t hard? Seulgi wondered how much of that was true.

  
  


.

  
  


They went to the same diner the other day. Seulgi argued she was hungry for real food because she spent the whole morning talking to selfish bigots and the only thing that could possibly lit her mood was food, and so they sat there, choosing what to order after that day’s lesson.

Woojin was seated beside Seulgi like the last time the three of them ate together, but this time, he seemed sleepy.

Seulgi chose for him, knowing what he would like to eat, and stared curiously at Joohyun who kept checking the menu over and over.

“Did you choose it already?” Seulgi asked, trying not to sound impatient, but Joohyun’s wide eyes told her the exact opposite happened.

“Just… a croissant,” she answered quickly, looking at the menu again before giving it back to Seulgi.

The waiter came and wrote down the orders before leaving them alone again. Seulgi stared at Joohyun, who suddenly sunk back into her chair, and her own shoulders dropped at the sight. Something was wrong, but she had no idea what that could be.

  
  


.

  
  


The thought of why Joohyun seemed so off lately didn’t leave Seulgi’s mind. She kept thinking of what was wrong with her the next few days, worried about her sudden change of behavior. They still texted like usual, and Joohyun never declined any of Seulgi’s requests to go out, but Seulgi was still curious, so she went to the school earlier one day.

Woojin went running as soon as they arrived and said he saw one of his friends before leaving Seulgi alone with the teacher, who seemed more tired than usual.

It made Seulgi’s heart sink.

“You’re here earlier,” she said when she saw Seulgi, her lips smiling just a tiny bit. It wasn’t enough – Seulgi wanted to see that big, bright smile again.

“I wanted to see you.” She was honest, completely, and Joohyun’s breath hitched, as if that answer shocked her.

“Why?” Joohyun asked, too defensive, as if taken aback by the raw affirmation. But Seulgi didn’t falter.

“I wanted to talk to you.”

“About what?”

“Anything.”

Joohyun sighed. Not shocked anymore, not sad – somewhere in the middle.

“Is this okay? Am I bothering you?” Seulgi asked worriedly and stepped forward, but that only seemed to make the teacher more uncomfortable, so she backed away again.

“No, Seulgi. You could never bother me.” Joohyun laughed, but it sounded too different from what Seulgi was used to. “Do you… do you want to see the kids?”

Seulgi bit her lower lip, considering, and all it took was Joohyun earnest look for her to finally say yes.

“That’s Yerim,” Joohyun said when they arrived at one of the dance rooms. They could only see through the glass wall, but that was good enough. “She’s our youngest teacher… in every sense of the word.”

Seulgi took a look at the girl. She seemed really young, but it was visible on her eyes how much she loved what she was doing, what she was teaching.

Sighing, Seulgi wondered if her love was that visible and if it was… why would someone who claimed to love her ask her to give up?

“It’s fascinating, don’t you think?” Joohyun asked, her eyes darting back to Seulgi. She could see the glow in them and the vision made her breath hitch.

“What?” Seulgi asked back, because she couldn’t think of anything else other than the fact that they were really close and Joohyun smelled like strawberries and vanilla.

“Dancing. Isn’t it fascinating?”

Seulgi swallowed an invisible lump on her throat, feeling a lot of weigh on her chest. She suddenly felt like crying, and she had no idea why. Or maybe she did, but it was so pathetic she couldn’t bring herself to believe it.

She took another step back, looking away from Joohyun when her sight became blurrier, but her tight up heart suddenly gave a little squeak when she felt a hand carefully grasping hers.

“Did I do anything wrong?” Joohyun questioned, her whole face contorted in worry, and Seulgi could only shake her head to deny.

“I lied to you,” she blurted out, making Joohyun’s head tend a little to the side. Seulgi decided to continue. “When I told you I always wanted to be a lawyer. I lied to you.”

Joohyun was listening. Eyes focused and ears sharp, her fingers softly caressing the back of Seulgi’s hand.

“I used to be a ballet dancer, when I was younger,” Seulgi revealed, her shoulders dropping. It felt like a weight was being lifted out of them, and she could only sigh in relief, but there were a lot to unpack still.

“Do you want to talk about it? About why did you stop?” Joohyun tried, kindly, as she pushed them aside so they could sit in one of the closest couches.

“There were so many reasons. I guess I’m just not meant for it.”

Joohyun put her hand on the table, searching for Seulgi’s, and when she did, she doesn’t waste anymore time before running her fingers through the back of her hand.

“You should stop speaking so low of yourself,” Joohyun scolded.

“I gave up. For someone I thought it was worth it,” Seulgi went on, pretending she hadn’t heard what the teacher said. And just like that, she wanted to cry again.

“Woojin’s father?” Joohyun asked. Partly because she didn’t know anything about him other than he died in an accident when Woojin was still a baby, and partly because she was curious. She didn’t want the subject to die down so fast when it had only begun.

Seulgi, however, shook her head.

“No, his father was… he was amazing.” She thought of how she could continue, but Joohyun’s eyes on her were making her feel things. Too many things. And she felt out of place. So, but _so_ small beside her.

“You know you can tell me,” Joohyun cooed, leaving Seulgi’s hand to caress her knee. It was gentle, and soft, and caring, and Seulgi wanted to hug her more than she ever wanted before. Or maybe do more, but she couldn’t quite understand those different… _urges_ _._

“It’s just – my boyfriend used to complain I barely had time for him. I danced a lot, and I was struggling to finish law school too, and Woojin was barely two years old. So I quit. And after that… I had no motivation left,” she explained, almost slurring her words together. “At the time, I just thought he was right when he said it was hard to love someone who wasn't dedicated enough to the relationship.”

She thought about all of the random fights, all of his accusations of cheating. It was suffocating to live like that, but she didn’t know better.

He was a couple years older than her, more powerful, and while she was only starting a career in law, he was way more experienced than her; that only made her think he was right all the time. And so she did as he told. She quit her job, she stayed home more, she stopped dancing. He only allowed her to finish law school because he said that maybe this way, with a degree in that field, Seulgi would finally be worthy of something.

“I’m sorry,” Joohyun said, her fingers caressing her knee making Seulgi’s heart clench in a good way.

“Don’t be,” Seulgi answered, quietly. She was ashamed to have dumped it all on Joohyun so suddenly, but for some reason, she felt lighter.

“You deserve better.”

And then Seulgi smiled, remembering that Joohyun's last relationship wasn’t as good as it should have been.

“You deserve better, too.”

  
  


.

  
  


“Are you sure he’s the one asking?” Seungwan asked on the other side of the line, sounding too accusing for Seulgi’s liking.

“Of course it is, Seungwan. Why would I lie?” Seulgi asked back, genuinely confused, as she shove the rest of her things on her purse. Why would her friend think Woojin wouldn’t ask to spend the night at her godmother’s home?

“I don’t know. You’ve been progressively vague these last days. Or is it weeks?” Her best friend replied, almost demanding an answer, but Seulgi wasn’t so sure about why would Seungwan think she was lying.

“What are you implying?”

“Are you dating someone?” Seungwan asked straight away, not even introducing the subject lightly but throwing it at one go.

Seulgi choke on thin air, coughing in shock.

“Why would you think that?”

“Well, can you blame me? You’ve been acting weird. You’re leaving the firm earlier, texting someone all the time,” Seungwan listed, as if that were justifying enough.

“It’s Joohyun. Woojin’s teacher, Seulgi said, hoping that would ease her friend’s curiosity. Instead, Seungwan widened her eyes.

“Oh...” Seungwan said, in awe. She seemed taken aback, confused. Seulgi couldn’t tell when she couldn’t see her. “I thought you were straight.”

Seulgi’s eyes widened in surprise and she froze.

“What?”

“I didn’t think you were into girls. You never said anything,” Seungwan replied, sounding just a bit sad her friend hadn’t told her first. “Which is disappointing if you think about it, because I always tell you everything. You know every little detail of my love life before Sooyoung and I got together so I don’t really see why you would think I wouldn’t be okay with…”

“No, it’s not like that. Joohyun is a… friend.” Seulgi explained, cutting her off, but Seungwan’s words were still clouding her mind. It couldn’t be, right?

“Just a friend?” Seungwan asked again, just to be sure, and Seulgi felt her throat get dry.

Why was she making such a big deal out of it anyway?

“Yes, just a friend.”

But now that Seulgi thought about it, the words sounded strange to her ears.

She disconnected the call a short time later with a frown on her face and thoughts of a familiar smile that for some reason never failed to warm her heart.

  
  


.

  
  


She started to pay more attention. She noticed the lingering eyes, the way Joohyun would lean forward a little whenever she talked, placing her hand on Seulgi’s shoulder when she laughed.

Seulgi could feel it – all of Joohyun’s fingers on her skin causing palpitations too strong to be normal. Sometimes, she was so close Seulgi could smell her clear as day. It was all mingled, the chill night air, the scent of strawberries and vanilla which was probably her shampoo and something so characteristically Joohyun it made Seulgi’s insides shake.

And when Joohyun noticed what she was doing, that she was too close, and her lips slowly moved to apologize, her cheeks red, Seulgi thought she might feel it too. That Joohyun was probably just as infatuated as she was.

But Joohyun was as easy to read as a closed book. And Seulgi wasn’t brave enough to ask.

  
  


.

  
  


There was one time Joohyun surprised Seulgi at her office. She made the mistake of telling her she hadn’t eaten since the day before and the teacher was so concerned she demanded the address, and Seulgi had no strength to deny her anything.

And so they sat – Seulgi on the main chair, and Joohyun at the client’s. They ate in silence, as if they were afraid to say anything, and Seulgi understood, really. It was probably weird seeing your student’s mom blurting out all of her past that sudden and Seulgi felt conscious about it now, but there was nothing she could do about it anymore.

They were friends. And friends shared. That’s what kept her mind at ease.

“Where are you going to spend Christmas’s Eve?” Seulgi asked out of nowhere, remembering the holiday was close, in an attempt to make that tense mood lighter.

She and Woojin didn’t usually do much other than stay in and celebrate with Seungwan and her girlfriend. Sometimes, they’d watch a movie and when he went to bed, Seulgi had a drink or two with the couple. It was quite simple, but she always enjoyed simple things anyway.

Hearing the random question, Joohyun shrugged. She hadn’t really thought about it before, but realizing Christmas was only a few days away, she was surprised.

“Not sure… probably home.”

Seulgi knitted her eyebrows.

“Alone?”

Joohyun shook her shoulders again, not making a big deal out of it.

“Yeah.”

“But… but why?” Seulgi was truly confused.

“I’m away from my family and I…” Joohyun bit her lower lip, refraining herself from saying she had no money left to pay the travel back and she didn’t want to ask her family for it too.

“They don’t live here?” Seulgi asked, puzzled, and Joohyun shook her head.

“No, they live in Daegu,” she answered, and remembering she never got to tell Seulgi about that, she added, “I came here to work. It was an opportunity I couldn’t miss.”

“You never told me that,” Seulgi said, pouting a little, but her face went straight to normal when she realized what she was doing. She scrunched her nose, but Joohyun only laughed at her attitude.

“It wasn’t just something I could blurt out anytime,” Joohyun tried to justify, but Seulgi only snorted at her.

“Please, that’s what I do the whole time.”

Joohyun cackled, covering her mouth embarrassed.

“So, this means you’re here alone for five months?” Seulgi asked, apparently just realizing that.

“Well, not alone, _alone_ _._ I’m friends with Yerim, that teacher I told you about the other day,” Joohyun pointed out, eating her tteokbokki again. “And I have you.”

Seulgi pretended she didn’t feel her ears burning with the statement and went on, “That’s why you should’ve told me you had no plans for Christmas.”

“I don’t mind, really. It’s not as pathetic as it might seem. It could be fun,” Joohyun argued, her voice not sounding the least bit convincing.

“But spending Christmas all alone isn’t fun.”

“It could be,” Joohyun insisted, quirking an eyebrow, but she didn’t convince Seulgi. She didn’t think she would, though. “Anyways, we don’t need to talk about that. I came with food and a request, actually.”

“Oh, I’m excited to hear it.” Seulgi quipped, finishing her food and putting her elbows on the table as if that gesture said Joohyun had her whole attention. Just like every single time she did anything, but she didn’t need to know that.

“I want you to come to the school tomorrow morning. When Woojin’s at the other school,” Joohyun suggested, bravely, but by the tug on her own sleeve, it was clear she was nervous. Seulgi wondered why she would be like this for such a simple request.

“I thought you didn’t have classes in the morning,” she commented, but that only made Joohyun more anxious.

“Oh, I don’t. I want to show you something,” she explained.

Seulgi hummed.

“I’ll go. Just text me when I can drop by.”

Joohyun beamed, satisfied, and Seulgi swore she saw her sigh in relief.

“Of course I will,” Joohyun answered, looking around quickly before focusing on Seulgi again. “What were you doing before I came here with lunch?”

“Organizing some files.”

“Isn’t it tiring?” Joohyun tugged her head to the side.

“It’s my job.” Seulgi answered, like that would explain everything. Or compensate.

“You barely have fun,” she argued, but Seulgi just snorted at her.

“We have different view on what it means to have fun. I have a lot of fun with Woojin.”

“You know what I mean, Seul. You barely leave this office if it’s not to have lunch with me or to pick him up at school so we can all eat together,” Joohyun countered back, and Seulgi _hated_ it. She really did, because she knew it was true.

“My job is demanding.” Her voice came out weak, defeated.

“I know it is, but you should cut yourself some slack. You work too hard. There’s more out there beyond these gray walls. It’s almost as if you’re hiding away from the world,” Joohyun said dramatically once she was finished eating, putting the empty tray back on the paper bag.

“Says the one who would spend Christmas alone, behind four walls.”

“Well, technically, my apartment is bigger than just four walls,” Joohyun said jokingly, crossing her legs over the chair.

They continued to eat in silence. No words were exchanged until Seulgi lift her eyes up to meet Joohyun’s, blurting out softly, “Come to our place at Christmas. I’m sure Woojin would be delighted.” She said without thinking, but her hands suddenly began to shake a little. She felt like a teenager.

“And you?” Joohyun tried, looking at Seulgi behind her lashes. Seulgi took a deep breath, trying to pretend she wasn’t affected by it.

Joohyun truly was too beautiful for her own good. So she brushed it off, crunching her nose to ignore her stomach fluttering.

“I don’t think it could be that bad, right?”

“Hey!” Joohyun almost yelled, earning a few glares from the coworkers near Seulgi’s office, but the lawyer just laughed as she noticed the older woman throwing her a napkin who just fluttered back at her lap.

And as she saw Joohyun’s lips threatening to smile again, for some reason, she was happy to know she was the reason why.

  
  


.

  
  


Her hands were grasping the steering wheel tightly, her palms sweating in contact with the leather cover. She looked into the rear view, where Woojin was sitting on his chair looking at the street. He was already dressed to go to school.

“Hey, kid. Can I ask you something?” she called him and the boy looked directly at her, forgetting the world outside. He didn’t need to say anything for her to know she could talk. “How do you feel about Joohyun spending Christmas with us?”

Woojin’s eyebrows furrowed, doubtful, and he stared back at his mom with so much confusion she almost thought about taking it back.

However, as soon as realization hit him, his eyes widen in surprise.

“It would be so cool!”

Seulgi chuckled, the tightness of her hands around the steering wheel dying a bit.

“You like her, don’t you?” she asked, more out of an automatic way. She knew the answer, and she proved to be right when Woojin only nodded enthusiastically.

“A lot. She’s really nice.”

“She is,” Seulgi agreed, not sure what to do next. She tapped on the wheel awkwardly, making a turn when she eventually arrived at one corner.

“You know, one day, there was an older boy in a class in front of us and there were a few girls mocking him. She wasn’t even his teacher and she stood up for him anyways, it was so cool,” Woojin admitted, proud.

“She’s amazing, don’t you think?” Seulgi added, barely realizing the dreamy tone in her voice.

“Yeah! I’m glad you became friends. And I’m happy she can spend more time at our place,” The boy commented smiling. He paused for a moment, as if unsure if he should say anything, but decided to remain quiet.

Seulgi looked at him curiously, sensing the hesitation, but didn't think about it very much, so she took advantage of the silence to speak again:

“How are you doing, huh? You never tell me much,” she tried. “I heard your class in going to perform in public soon.”

Woojin's eyes lit up with excitement and he nodded his head in agreement.

“Yes! But Miss Kim said it will take a while,” he commented thoughtfully, pursing his lips before adding. “She's friends with Joohyun noona.”

Seulgi nodded, unsure of where he would like to go with that. Once again, Seulgi made another turn, and as soon as the boy's school became visible, he made sure to add:

“I once heard them talking about you, mom.”

The lawyer gasped, taken aback. She wondered if she should ask what he had heard, but she didn't want to look desperate. Much less in front of her son.

“Oh, and another thing! I made a lot of friends,” Woojin said excitedly, seeming oblivious to the curiosity stamped on his mother's expression.

“Yeah, I know that,” she commented between a laugh, parking the car. “You always ask me to wait for you to talk to your friends before we leave.”

Woojin laughed, relaxed, staring at his mother in the mirror.

“But you like it, don’t you? At least you can talk to Joohyun noona more.” He said, his words sounding too suggestive to come from a seven-year-old. Seulgi tried not to think about it too much, but she was sure Seungwan had a bit of a blame on it.

Not knowing what else to say, Seulgi smiled at him, but looked away shortly so that she could get out of the car and loosen his belt. She tried to convince herself that it was because she really needed to leave him at school, but she knew it wasn't just that. To be honest, it was, to say the least, embarrassing to be acting like a love struck teenager when she was already twenty six.

  
  


.

  
  


Seulgi was never patient, so as soon as she dropped Woojin at school, she was already making her way to the ballet school.

Her heart hammered against her chest, nervously, but she had no idea of why would she be nervous meeting Joohyun. Actually, she just pretended not to.

The streets were empty when she turned on the corner, driving slowly so she could find a place near the entrance to park, and that’s when she noticed. Joohyun had just arrived and Seulgi could see through the front glass she was just taking off her seat-belt.

She parked anywhere, walking fast to get close to her before Joohyun got off so they could go together where the older woman would like them to go. But she hadn't been as discreet as she'd hoped, because once Joohyun was out of the car, her eyes widened in shock and she dropped her bag, knocking over everything inside it.

“I’m so sorry, Hyun! I didn’t mean to,” Seulgi apologized, kneeling so she could help the teacher.

“It’s okay, you just surprised me.” Joohyun laughed, opening her bag to put everything back together.

Seulgi had no idea of what that was, but she could see a lot of papers. Too many papers for a dance teacher.

She wondered if she should ask what it was about, but before she could, Joohyun took one from her hand and accidentally let one of the papers turn to Seulgi’s eyes.

It were bills. A lot of overdue bills.

“Thank you,” Joohyun said once they were finished, lifting up in a second to stare back at Seulgi.

“Are you okay?” Seulgi asked, concerned. There was a line in the middle of her brows.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Joohyun answered, not really sounding much convincing. All it took was arched eyebrow from Seulgi and she was sighing again, as if defeated. “It’s just harder than I expected. You know, living alone in another city. And the teacher money isn’t that much.”

“Oh...” Seulgi said, realization hitting her suddenly. “I thought when you meant it was an opportunity to come here you meant the salary too.”

“Well, technically, but I’m new here. My pay is not that high yet,” the teacher casually said, starting to walk to the front door of the school. She didn’t need to say anything for Seulgi to follow. “And when I said opportunity I meant it like an opportunity to do what I like.”

“Do you… do you need help with anything?” Seulgi tried, but Joohyun just looked at her as if she’d grown a third head.

“No, don’t worry. I can do it.” She laughed, trying to hide her nervousness. The last thing she needed was to be treated as some kind of charity work. Biting her lower lip, Joohyun eyed her. “Why are you here so early, though? I told you I’d text you.”

Seulgi laughed, looking sheepish as she did so.

“I was curious, so I decided to come early.”

“You’re too impatient to be a lawyer.” Joohyun pointed jokingly, and Seulgi just smiled sheepishly at her. A bright smile that made her cheeks out stand and forced her eyes to close. It was adorable.

Joohyun took her to the teacher’s room, and while she waited outside for the woman to get a key and say hi to some teachers there, Seulgi waited for her by the door, her arms crossed upon her chest.

Soon, Joohyun was back, smiling brightly at her before dragging her to another hallway and another dance room. Seulgi was about to ask her what was all that about when Joohyun put a finger on her own mouth, asking her not to do anything, almost as if she was reading her mind.

“I’m going inside first. Wait here until I come get you,” Joohyun said, as if remembering how impatient Seulgi could get. She put both hands on her shoulders, smiling kindly before disappearing through the door.

It wasn’t long before Joohyun returned, beaming so bright through the door side Seulgi thought she might go blind.

“Come inside,” she called, and Seulgi was happy to oblige.

It wasn’t much different from the other dance rooms she saw before, just the same space, but the lights were lower, and a soft piano melody played on the speakers in the corner of the room.

Seulgi swallowed hard, having trouble to think straight.

“What are you doing?” Seulgi asked out of breath when she noticed Joohyun was coming closer.

“Take off your shoes,” Joohyun requested gently, and when Seulgi looked down, she noticed that she was also barefoot.

She obeyed the teacher without her asking again, and when her feet touched the cold surface, she shuddered to imagine what was about to happen.

“What are you doing, Joohyun?”

“I’m giving you a reason to dance again. Come here,” the teacher said, far too close to her.

Joohyun took Seulgi’s hesitant hand and lead her to middle of the dance floor.

“Close your eyes,” Joohyun requested, and Seulgi did exactly as told. She was having trouble to think of anything else because the woman was too close, and her scent was just so, so sweet.

It was too much and Seulgi’s heart was beating too fast to be normal. It was all mingled again and Seulgi was too dumbfounded to do anything else.

Then, Joohyun’s hands were on her hip, keeping her steady as she helped the lawyer move her arms slowly.

“Breathe in, breathe out.” Her voice came in Seulgi’s left ear, the hotness of her whisper making weird things to the taller woman’s stomach. “I want you to feel the room around you, the wood under your feet, the air you breathe...”

Seulgi was too amazed. Her heart was pounding, her mouth dry, but she was following Joohyun’s instructions. They were moving slowly, almost as if experimenting, but it felt great already.

She had no idea if it was the song, her moves, or Joohyun’s body pressed behind her back while making her dance like she was a puppet. Seulgi thought she wouldn’t mind, though – she liked that feeling too much to do so. But it was overwhelming, because Joohyun was making her feel so much at once and she’s never felt like that before.

“Now feel the song, the lyrics. Let it move you, let it drive you around,” Joohyun whispered again, her husky voice bringing shivers to the back of Seulgi’s neck.

Her eyes were burning to open, to look at the teacher’s eyes, but she wanted to make her proud, and so she kept them closed, focused on the task. That was when she felt the warmth behind her leaving her slowly and she figured Joohyun was taking a step back so she could continue to dance alone, to find her own rhythm.

Seulgi filled her lungs with air and let the sound of the piano guide her next moves. She wasn’t an expert, not anymore, she hadn’t danced in years, but the feeling was still there. And she knew she missed dancing, she just had no idea how much.

“The music is a part of you, still, Seulgi. You shouldn’t give up.” Joohyun’s voice echoed in her ears, not so close but not so far away. It was what kept her grounded, but also kept her moving.

She remembered everything – her struggles to be good enough, to moderate her movements so they wouldn’t be too sharp, and how it was so hard for her to do it, but at that moment, she was glad she was dancing _at all._

And so she lifted her left leg, drawing a straight line around her own body. And then, just as she was about to be proud of the subtlety of the movement after so many years, a sharp twinge struck her ribs.

It _was_ overwhelming. Too much and not enough. It brought tears to her eyes again and she lost her focus, her balance. However, before she could fall, soft hands went to her hips again, keeping her in place.

Seulgi kept her eyes closed and pulled the teacher by her shoulders.

“Thank you...” she said, out of breath.

They were so close Seulgi could feel the woman’s breathing against her face, their foreheads barely touching. She wanted nothing more than to lean forward a little so she could touch those pink lips with her own, feel the softness of it.

“Anytime, Seulgi-ah.” Joohyun interrupted her thoughts, her voice breaking a bit in the middle.

Seulgi wondered if it was for the same reason. She hoped so, and in that moment, she leaned forward just a tiny bit and their lips were too close to be safe, almost touching.

“Joohyun,” Seulgi tried to say, afraid she might do something the teacher wouldn’t like, but that seemed to wake her up, and she chuckled nervously before stepping away.

“I’m sorry,” she suddenly apologized, not seeming sorry at all. Not with those red cheeks and that uneven breath. Not when her eyes were so, so bright. “You were amazing. I’m really proud of you, Seulgi.”

Seulgi bit her lower lip, shocked at herself for that courage.

“I couldn’t have done it without you.”

  
  


.

  
  


“Hyun,” Seulgi called the woman when they were leaving the room. It was still early in the morning and soon she’d need to return to work, but she still wanted Joohyun’s company.

“Hey,” she said, looking at her friend through her shoulder.

“Would you like to eat together or something?” The taller of the two asked, just a tiny bit scared. After what happened in that room, she wasn’t sure of how she should act around Joohyun. If she wasn’t sure of how she felt about the teacher before, she was now.

“I don’t know, Seul,” Joohyun said after a while pondering her alternatives.

The answer made Seulgi bit her lower lip.

She ruined everything, didn’t she? It was all she knew how to do – ruin things. And now she ruined her friendship with Joohyun too. Who knew what was going on in her mind right now? Maybe she was offended because of the almost kiss they shared, maybe she was tired of Seulgi already, maybe…

“Hey,” Joohyun called when she noticed the weird look on the woman’s face. “It’s just that I…” She abruptly stopped, thinking of her words. She chuckled nervously and for a moment considered being honest, but she refrained herself from doing so. “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable or anything.”

“You could never make me uncomfortable,” Seulgi blurted it out. Then, she realized. It was the other way around. “Oh, I’m sorry.”

“No, no. It’s not that…” Joohyun tried to say, but the words just didn’t seem right.

How could she explain to someone like Seulgi that she was too broke for a simple cup of tea because she bought too many of them in the month already? How could she explain she let it go that far because just like Seulgi, she wanted her company too?

“It’s okay. I’m really sorry,” Seulgi said anyway, scratching the back of her neck out of habit. “Would you still be able to come to my place for Christmas? I’d hate to say to Woojin I ruined it.”

Joohyun’s heart sank. She didn’t have many options, but both of them were embarrassing. The first one was to admit she was broke, and the second one that she was afraid – which was pathetic since she kept saying Seulgi she should me braver.

“I’ll go,” Joohyun said, instead.

“Okay, I’ll see you there, Hyunnie,” Seulgi said, before starting to walk away.

Joohyun smiled, sadly, and waved her goodbye.

  
  


.

  
  


A meeting made Seulgi stay at work until late that day.

She called Seungwan to pick Woojin from school since she couldn’t make it and even though she tried her best to keep her emotions at bay, her best friend knew her well enough. All it took was a longer breath for her to realize something was wrong. Seulgi promised she would talk to her when she got home later, after allowing Sooyoung to go there too.

And after that, she took the rest of the day to take care of everything she needed, which, surprisingly, was a lot.

She loved how convenient that was, because she wanted nothing more than to keep her mind busy for the rest of the day, and so she did.

Seulgi reviewed as many cases as she could, and when she was about to leave, she met with clients and other lawyers on the firm. It took longer than expected, but it felt safe to assume that at least that way Joohyun would stay out of her mind for a while.

She didn’t.

  
  


.

  
  


Her steps were unsure when she made her way to her house after stepping out of her car. It was late in the night already, but the lights were still on.

Seulgi unlocked the door slowly, only to see Seungwan hugging Woojin tightly as they both slept peacefully. The TV was on and some random movie was still playing.

Trying not to make any sound to not disturb them, Seulgi stepped inside her house and took off her shoes. She also took off the blazer, and put her purse on the side table, just in time for Seungwan’s girlfriend to come into the living room from the kitchen.

“Have they been like this for long?” Seulgi whispered, even though she was almost sure of the answer.

Sooyoung stared at the both figures asleep on the couch, hugging tightly as if afraid one would let go.

“Probably since the beginning of the movie. Seungwan’s had a long day today and Woojin seemed tired when he arrived too,” she answered casually, looking back at Seulgi with curious eyes. Seulgi felt observed, as if every single one of her flaws were exposed. “I’m assuming you had a tough day today as well.”

Seulgi chuckled humorless. She looked at her friend, then back at Sooyoung.

She remembered when they first met, how Seungwan as afraid of pushing Sooyoung too much because she’d never been with a woman before. The coincidence was there and the question was already on the tip of her tongue.

“How did you know?” Seulgi asked. Sooyoung frowned, probably ready to tell her she also seemed tired, but that wasn’t the question Seulgi meant to ask, so she soon fixed it, “How did you know Seungwan was the one?”

They were together for years now, probably the longest relationship Seulgi ever knew, and lived together for half of that time. They were eventually going to get married, hopefully, and maybe someday even have kids. For someone who wasn’t confident in having a relationship as Seulgi remember Sooyoung to be, she seemed happy to be finally stable with someone.

She wondered how Sooyoung must’ve felt. Something had to explain how she was so confident right now.

“Honestly?” Sooyoung asked, seriously, and Seulgi nodded like a curious kid who was dying to know the answer. But then, she just shook her shoulders. “I didn’t.”

“But you…”

“I took a leap of faith,” Sooyoung explained. “I cared a lot about Seungwan and I decided to explore those feelings. I’m glad I did.”

Seulgi nodded, understandingly.

“It must’ve been scary,” she added. “You know, loving another woman…”

Sooyoung pondered on her words for a while. She didn’t know Seulgi that well – of course, they talked a lot when Seungwan brought her over sometimes, and on Seungwan’s birthdays, but they weren’t close. However, she had an idea of where this was coming.

“To be honest with you, Seulgi, it wasn’t that scary,” she said, thoughtfully. She hoped she was right on her assuming. “I had Seungwan and she helped me. With her by my side, it was easier.”

Seulgi’s lips turned into a frown. Sooyoung’s words left a doubt in her mind.

Joohyun was right. She needed to really live, to have more courage. And the first thing she would do would be to take the first step with Joohyun.

  
  


.

  
  


Christmas Eve came fast, and soon, they were already on Seulgi’s living room having dinner. They were still putting food on each plate when Seulgi heard a knock on the door. She left everything on the table quickly, almost running to get to the door.

And as soon as she opened, she swore her heart skipped a beat.

Joohyun was there, looking stunning as ever. She was dressed casually, but not too much. Her hair was falling on her shoulders and she wore an over-sized cropped sweater which matched perfectly with her black jeans pants.

Seulgi took a deep breath, hoping she wouldn’t seem too flustered.

“Hi!” she said, in a high pitched tone that certainly wasn’t adequate, but Joohyun didn’t seem to mind.

“Hey, there,” Joohyun replied, smiling brightly as usual. She extended her arms, holding something. “I brought cake. I know it isn’t enough, but I didn’t want to come empty handed and I didn’t know what…”

“Cake is great!” Seulgi cut her off, smiling just the same. She took the cake off of her hands and put it on the side table of the living room. Standing on the door like a silly teenager, she tilted her head to the side before saying, “I’m glad you could make it. I bought… I bought carrot cake. I know you like it.”

Joohyun’s eyes sparkled at her words, and as soon as their eyes met, her breath hitched. Seulgi was just so beautiful, her features were so enchanting.

She was leaning closer before she could think about it, their foreheads mere inches apart, and when Seulgi licked her lips, ready for what it was coming, Joohyun turned her face to hug her. Before Seulgi could register, the teacher’s arms were already surrounding her shoulders, pulling her close together. She could feel the woman breathing on her neck, her lips brushing the sensitive area by accident, and it was nerve-wrecking to feel her like this. Close, but not close enough.

“Of course you did,” Joohyun said, quickly letting go and stepping out of Seulgi’s arms. “You’re an amazing friend.” She pretended not to notice the frown that appeared on Seulgi’s face at the word ‘friend’.

Seulgi opened her mouth again, probably to say something good about Joohyun too, but before she could, the teacher gasped in surprise when a tiny body hugged her waist tightly.

“Noona! I thought you wouldn’t come,” Woojin screeched, happily.

“I promised I would, didn’t I?” Joohyun said in a soft tone, running her hands through the boy’s hair.

Seulgi watched the interaction and felt tingles all over her body. She hadn't felt that way in a long, long time. It was good, like taking an uncomfortable shoe after a long day. It made her feel free and safe – like coming home after a tough day.

  
  


.

  
  


Seungwan and Sooyoung left when it was almost three in the morning, but Seulgi insisted Joohyun stayed longer. For some reason, Woojin was still up, too hyped to even think of sleeping.

Seulgi was in her spare room looking for something they could play, and Joohyun and Woojin were left alone in the spacious living room.

It shouldn’t be awkward but Joohyun felt her blood pressure becoming higher, as if she was hiding something from the boy.

“Mom’s been busy, so she doesn’t smile a lot these days,” Woojin said of a sudden, startling Joohyun who was in deep thought. “But she smiles when she talks to you. I guess she really likes you,” he finished, bringing a smile to the teacher’s lips.

Joohyun giggled, embarrassed.

“It’s true!” Woojin insisted, looking determined for some reason. “She looks like this.” He made a face that was supposed to be a happy expression.

Joohyun laughed out loud at the attempt, struggling to catch his breath.

“I really like her too,” Joohyun said as soon as she could, timidly.

He looked up to her from his place on the floor, staring at the woman sitting on the couch nervously.

“Are you two going to date? Like aunt Seungwan and aunt Sooyoung?” the boy asked, with eyes shining too bright for a simple question.

Joohyun sighed, not expecting such a straightforward question.

“It’s not that simple, Woojin,” she decided to say, hoping this would ease things, but of course, it didn’t. Woojin was a kid, and like all other kids, he would not give up so easily.

“Of course it is, noona,” Woojin argued, almost as if upset with the answer. But Joohyun knew he was probably just confused. “She likes you a lot, and you just said you like her too.”

She was used to everything being complicated, everything was always so black and white. But maybe Woojin was right – this shouldn’t be complicated. It shouldn’t be so black and white. There were gray areas and she was allowed to explore them, wasn’t she?

“Am I interrupting something?” Seulgi came back before Joohyun got lost in thought, joking as she made her way to the living room.

She carried a board game with her and as she sat on the floor, she didn’t wait for an answer before starting to explain how the game worked.

Joohyun, however, wasn’t focused on the explanation, but on Seulgi’s actions. Entranced by the way her lips made a little pout whenever she talked, how her eyebrows frowned with the excitement. She seemed like a little kid, and Joohyun couldn’t help the small chuckle she let out.

Seulgi froze, scared Joohyun might find her weird for talking with so much enthusiasm for something so little. Scared Joohyun might be laughing _at_ her, not _with_ her, so she gathered up enough courage to ask what she wanted.

“What is it?”

“You’re adorable,” Joohyun blurted out, and was happy to see the blush on the lawyer’s cheeks. “And you look beautiful like this. With your hair up.”

Seulgi ran a hand over her sloppy bun, not understanding the sudden compliment, but smiled anyways.

And as soon as they went back and started playing, Joohyun felt warm through her own cheeks with the interaction between mother and son.

It was heartwarming – she hoped it became often.

  
  


.

  
  


And it did.

Seulgi kept asking Joohyun to drop by whenever she could and started to back off of work for a while. Not enough for her to become irresponsible, but just enough for her to become a more present mother, a more caring _friend_ … As Joohyun said she was. But it wasn’t enough. She wanted more.

She was gathering enough courage to tell her the truth, to confess to her, when she received a call. It was work hours still, but once she noticed whose call it was, she didn’t take long to answer it.

“Hey,” Seulgi said, hoping she wouldn’t sound so excited for a simple phone call.

“I have an invitation for you,” Joohyun blurted out, not even bothering to greet her with how nervous she was.

“Oh, an invitation. That seems formal,” Seulgi said in an attempt to brighten the mood, and she was proud for getting at least that small chuckle. “Tell me what it is.”

She heard Joohyun take a deep breath from the other side of the line before her voice came through again.

“I want you to come over for New Year’s Eve. You and Woojin, I mean,” she said in a single breath. “There’s not much, but you can see the fireworks from the balcony of my apartment and you said he really likes it, so I thought maybe…”

“We’ll go.” Seulgi cut her off, stopping her from continue to ramble. “I like spending time with you. I think it will be fun.”

She could hear Joohyun’s uneven breath on the other side, and she was scared she might’ve crossed a line (again) but the teacher’s voice came again to reassure her.

“I like spending time with you too. In fact, I… I’d love to have you here,” she whispered, and awkwardly added, “Both of you.”

“We’ll be there,” Seulgi said. “Wait for us.”

She could almost _hear_ Joohyun’s beam.

“Of course.”

  
  


.

  
  


In contrast with the Christmas Eve, Woojin didn’t last long before falling asleep. He’s always been a light sleeper, so Seulgi thought he might wake up before the countdown, but as she sat on Joohyun’s couch and looked over to the clock, she realized she might be wrong.

It was almost midnight, and there was no sign he would be waking up anytime soon.

Joohyun fidgeted in her seat, staring at her clock and misreading Seulgi’s look completely.

“It’s boring, isn’t it?” she asked in a low and insecure tone, calling Seulgi’s attention. “My family used to do a lot of dishes and we all celebrated the turn of the New Year with our bellies full, but since there are only us three here, I thought…”

“It’s not.” Seulgi put her hand above Joohyun’s and didn’t let her continue. “It’s not boring, I mean. To be here with you.”

Joohyun sighed, not completely satisfied, but she had no idea of what else to do.

“You know what I just realized?” Seulgi asked, turning to her side to stare at Joohyun properly. The teacher shook her head. “You never told me what you said to Woojin that day, when I came to pick him up for the first time.”

“Oh…” Joohyun frowned. She then laughed lightly. “It’s not much of a deal, really.”

“Tell me? Please?” Seulgi insisted. Her eyes were completely focused on Joohyun’s and she thought she might’ve drowned in them. Not that she would mind.

“I just told him I was mocked a lot when I started taking ballet lessons.” She looked down, cheeks pink. “I was really young and I had braces and glasses and people called me names.”

“I didn’t know that.”

Joohyun just laughed it off.

“Of course you didn’t, silly. I never told you about it and I made Woojin promise he wouldn’t tell anyone too,” she pushed the slightly taller woman with her shoulder. “He said no one was mocking him, so I didn't have to worry, but I knew that wasn't it. Just because no one was being cruel to him didn't mean he didn't think people were talking about him behind his back.”

“You’re very sensitive, you know?” Seulgi said, staring at Joohyun with eyes glowing in admiration. “And you’re great with kids.”

“I can’t deny that.” Joohyun laughed, looking at Seulgi’s hand resting on her knee. “I told him to make you proud. Not that he would need to take an effort, but…”

“Thank you.”

Joohyun shrugged, “It’s not a big deal.”

“Not for that.” Seulgi explained. “For everything.”

Joohyun rolled her eyes.

“You don’t need to thank me for that.”

“I do.”

The teacher pressed her lips into a thin line, not sure of what she could say.

“Seulgi… I want to tell you something.” Joohyun changed the subject quickly, and Seulgi’s eyes quickly focused on her.

She seemed nervous, hesitant. Seulgi wondered what it could be that serious.

“What is it?”

“I want to be honest with you, that’s all,” Joohyun admitted, playing with her own fingers. “When you asked me to eat with you after I encouraged you to dance and I said I probably shouldn’t, it wasn’t because I didn’t want to be around you.”

Seulgi was confused, but completely focused on the woman’s words.

“I just didn’t have money enough to buy anything. You know I’m having… some money issues.” Her voice was low, almost ashamed of admitting that out loud.

Seulgi felt her chin drop slightly and suddenly everything fell in its place. That was why Joohyun took longer to choose what to order, why she had piled up bills.

“It’s stupid, really, but I wanted to be closer to you so I started to spend more time with you and started to have trouble managing my money,” Joohyun continued sheepishly, staring at Seulgi through eyes filled with warmth. “I had no one here, but then you came and I wanted nothing more than to be next to you all the time and it’s been so long since I felt this way about anyone.”

They stared at each other in silent. The room suddenly felt too small.

“I meant what I said before,” Joohyun muttered, chewing on her bottom lip. “About wanting you here… I want you here all the time. I want to be with you all the time.”

Seulgi giggled softly, feeling light and locked her fingers with Joohyun’s unsteady ones.

“Do you want that too?” Joohyun looked up at her, fear written all over her face.

Fireworks were forgotten. It probably wouldn’t take long for midnight, but Seulgi could only think about the beautiful woman in front of her, about her pink lips and how soft they seemed. She wanted to take the next step, to taste them just like she wanted last time, but one step at a time.

“I want to kiss you,” Seulgi said instead. She didn’t think she’d be that brave, yet, there she was. Maybe it was a good first step.

“Why don’t you?” Joohyun challenged her, eyebrows raised in what should have been a gesture of defiance, but Seulgi realized she was as nervous as she was. The older woman bit her lower lip, staring at Seulgi between ragged breaths.

“This could change everything between us,” Seulgi tried to argue, but she knew it wasn’t good enough.

“But will it really?”

It wouldn’t, Seulgi knew that. Of course, they’d probably have to be more careful since Korea was not so open about same-sex relationships, but would it really change much between them? The answer was simple.

So, Seulgi didn’t think much before leaning forward and capturing Joohyun’s lips with her own.

She put a hand behind the woman’s neck, holding her steadily, and warmth pooled in her whole body once she felt tiny arms circling her waist.

The kiss was soft, yet, it left both of their hearts hammering against their chests and after a while, they separated with raged breaths and stupid grins.

Fireworks ringed outside, color spreading through the sky visible through Joohyun’s living room.

“I want everything with you,” Seulgi admitted, not one bit upset she missed the show outside.

Joohyun’s smile grew and soon, Seulgi was hugging her tightly.

“I want that too.”

Joohyun was smaller than Seulgi, but the lawyer fit so well in her arms Joohyun never wanted her to let go.

  
  


.

  
  


Woojin woke up hours later, walking drowsily to the kitchen only to find both of them laughing sheepishly while trying to cook something. It was almost five in the morning and he had no idea why would they make breakfast that early, and so he stayed on the hall watching them curiously.

He saw the way his teacher’s arms surrounded her mother’s waist from behind, helping her prepare whatever they were doing. He could see how they seemed much happier, and right before he made his way to the kitchen to tell them that, he saw his teacher kiss her mother on the lips.

Woojin opened his mouth in shock, and once he noticed the look on his mother face, he couldn’t help but run happily towards them.

“Noona, look! Mom’s making that stupid happy face again!”

  
  


.

  
  


Joohyun was right. Things didn’t change that much after that.

They still saw each other every day, or whenever Seulgi came to take Woojin to his ballet lessons. Sometimes, Joohyun called her when she was at work, only to remember she needed to eat because she knew Seulgi could forget it if she was too focused on what she was working on, but sometimes she just randomly showed up at her office with lunch for both of them.

Whenever Joohyun was too busy with her own job, trying to create a new choreography for some performance, Seulgi took time off to help her. They talked and when Seulgi realized that Joohyun was not feeling excited about it as she should, the youngest made sure to make some silly dance to at least get a smile from her girlfriend.

They started to go out more with Woojin, and even though Seulgi kept telling Joohyun not to spoil him, she often saw when Joohyun would sneak another lollipop to him, or another popsicle, or anything he wanted to actually, but she always forgave her, eventually. Because she knew that if Joohyun didn’t do that, she’d probably be the one to do it.

There was still a lot to happen, Seulgi knew. She was gathering the courage to show Joohyun photos of when she used to dance professionally, or maybe some videos too. She was trying to open up more about her past, about her insecurities too, but for now, she liked that pace.

  
  


.

  
  


“I want to leave,” Seulgi said one day, when they were back at Joohyun’s apartment. She spent more time there than at home, but neither of them minded much. They were watching a movie, Woojin’s head rested comfortably on Joohyun’s lap while Seulgi’s was on her shoulder.

Joohyun eyed her girlfriend curiously, noticing how she looked adorable in that position – with her head tilted up so they can stare at each other’s eyes.

“What?” she asked, confused, her hand stopping to caress Woojin’s head because of the sudden confusion.

Seulgi shrugged. She didn’t seem to notice the scared look on Joohyun’s face.

“I want to leave some day. Go away for a while, you know? Live a little, like you said I should.”

Joohyun hummed.

“Who are you and what did you do to my girlfriend?” Joohyun decided to ask, avoiding to say something that might sound too needy. Something along the lines of begging her not to leave for long because Joohyun would miss her too much.

“Shut up, silly. I’m serious.” Seulgi sat straight, pushing Joohyun’s shoulder playfully.

“I know you are, baby. I’m just surprised.” Joohyun laughed, trying to keep herself steady so she wouldn’t wake Woojin.

Seulgi nodded, feeling weird, but she soon added, "You were right. I was hiding and now I won't anymore. I want to know the world, and I want to take you both with me."

Joohyun felt overwhelmed, her heart racing again. She was with Seulgi for a while now, but that didn’t mean the effect the woman had on her stopped.

“I just think the world is a better place with you walking on it.”

Seulgi pushed her again, probably for the cheesy comment, and even though Joohyun tried to keep herself steady again, Woojin woke up, staring at both of them with drowsy eyes.

Joohyun held his head to keep him in place as she kissed his forehead and apologized for startling him. Seulgi did the same, but she was laughing too hard and didn’t focus enough on what she said.

Woojin didn't mind, though. He was happy to see his mother like that again and the fact that he had someone like Joohyun on his life now made him even happier.

It was difficult, Seulgi and Joohyun admitted, because they often had to introduce the other to her co-workers as a simple friend when they were more than just that.

Sometimes, Seulgi was too busy for them to do anything (to spend some family time together, as Woojin used to say) and Joohyun had always been too sensitive to handle the time apart.

They were together for over six months now. It wasn't much, they knew it, but both were very proud of everything that they went through together. And they knew it wasn't perfect, but they thought it was close enough.

  
  



	2. epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a lot of people had asked me for a sequel when i posted the first chapter and at first i thought i wouldn't want to make one, the ending felt good enough for me, but then one day i just felt the Urge to write domestic seulrene and i thought... maybe i could write a short epilogue with about 4k words or something. and then i started writing and writing and well, here's 13k
> 
> (there's a bit of a time jump here and there, i hope it's not confusing)
> 
> anyways, hope yall enjoy it!

The keys fall down into a noisy mess on the hallway floor before Seulgi can manage to find the right one to open her apartment door. She has to pinch the bridge of her nose to prevent herself from just kicking it open with how impatient she is after the day she just had.

That’s why it takes longer than it probably should, considering her weariness and something beyond it she can’t quite explain, for Seulgi to finally fit the right key in the knob, ready for a bath and some shut eye.

Except that when the door finally creaks open, the sight that greets her is familiar and _new_ all the same.

For starters, she’s not alone.

Joohyun is there, sitting on the couch while she has her legs propped on the center table. Her laptop is on her thighs and she looks like she was expecting Seulgi, but not exactly. Woojin is lying by her side, still in his ballet clothes, supporting his head on her shoulder like he was watching what she was doing but fell asleep halfway through it.

Joohyun doesn’t seem to notice Seulgi’s presence for a few minutes, or if she does, she ignores it.

It’s an adorable sight, Seulgi admits, even more when she notices how hard it is for Joohyun to type anything with Woojin’s weight on her right side, and yet she makes no move to push him away.

It has happened before – coming home to Joohyun, even if that was _Seulgi’s_ apartment, not _theirs_ (yet, maybe), was something Seulgi was sure she could get used to. But she also notices there’s something wrong.

From where she stands, Seulgi can see the tense muscles on her back, how her breath shudders as she throws her head back and hides her forehead in the triangle her elbow forms when the arm is bent. Joohyun’s shoulders are slumped, not only because of Woojin’s weight, but because she is undoubtedly very tired too.

Seulgi takes another step inside and with a drawn out sigh that sounds a lot more worried than what she aimed for, she croaks out, “Joohyun?”

The woman jumps on her seat, spooked, right hand resting on top of the left side of her chest.

“Seul, hi,” she greets her, a gentle curve to her lips. Her mood is completely changed, and she seems more lively, like a battery that had just been recharged.

“I thought you were working late today. Something about a choreography that needed to be changed last minute?” Seulgi points out, a frown between her brows.

She takes out her coat, lazily, hangs it on the rack before setting the bags she brought aside. Almost in tiptoes, Seulgi walks closer to Woojin, pressing a warm kiss to his forehead before moving towards Joohyun, her hand easily finding its way to her head to lovingly stroke her hair.

“Yerim practically kicked me out of the school, so…” she trails off, leaning into the touch like a cat seeks out for affection.

“So you decided to bring work home?” Seulgi asks, half laughing.

“I’m sorry.” Joohyun looks up, not seeming sorry at all as their eyes meet. She holds Seulgi’s face with her left hand, fondly brushing her thumb over the smooth skin as she leans in to leave a brief yet soft kiss to her lips.

Seulgi smiles when they break it, waving off the apology like she doesn’t really know why Joohyun is apologizing in the first place.

“It’s fine.” The words are usual and vague, but she means it more than anything. “You know, I was sort of hoping to see you actually, just maybe not today,” she sheepishly admits.

Joohyun quirks up an eyebrow, a silent request for her to go on.

“Seungwan brought this expensive wine yesterday saying she recommended it to you before? And I thought I could come over tomorrow so we would, I don’t know, maybe relax a bit…” Seulgi tries, pulling out the skin on the corner of her mouth with her teeth. She knows how hard Joohyun has been working these past months, trying to prove herself even more.

“You’re not up for it today?” Joohyun asks, but it doesn’t sound forceful or annoyed. If anything, she seems concerned and Seulgi can’t help but feel warm at the actual question that is left unsaid. It’s Joohyun’s way of asking if she’s okay, if she wants to talk it out, if she needs anything.

“You’re here already, we might as well start it a day earlier,” she jokes, deflecting. She’s well aware Joohyun is going to pry further later, but for now Seulgi is thankful she lets it slide.

“You know I can’t really say no to that,” she says instead. Seulgi leans in for another kiss, but Joohyun stops her halfway, a hand in her chest blocking her from getting closer and her nose wrinkled playfully. “After you shower, though.”

Seulgi giggles, lighthearted, and kisses her either way.

  
  


.

  
  


When Seulgi comes back, Joohyun is still watching something in her laptop, completely focused, a crinkle in her forehead and all that.

Woojin isn’t there anymore, so Seulgi assumes her girlfriend put him to bed already. She makes a mental note to remind Joohyun later that he can’t just sleep without showering just because he’s tired.

She doesn’t even need to say anything at first because almost as if reading her mind, Joohyun raises her eyes only slightly and gives her a closed mouthed smile that tells she’s already aware of what Seulgi is going to say.

“I’ll wake him up later and run a bath, I promise,” she says, holding Seulgi’s pinky with her hand and bringing it up to kiss it. “And I’m almost done here.”

Seulgi nods, but doesn’t join her yet. Instead, she takes a few steps back and leans against the wall to continue watching Joohyun doing her job. Watches as Joohyun bites her nail absent-minded, only to shake her head as soon as she notices what she just did.

Seulgi stares at the subtle move of her left eyebrow when Joohyun purses her lips – said lips that move every once in a while as she hums the song the other ballerinas are dancing to on the screen.

“You look beautiful, you know?” she says before she can stop herself, head slightly tilted to the side as she eyes Joohyun carefully and comes to her side.

The compliment doesn't quite land – if anything, Joohyun seems more taken aback than actually pleased.

“You don't have to say this just because I –” she stops, gesturing to her face like that was supposed to make whatever she meant to say obvious. Joohyun shakes her head. “I look like I haven’t slept in days.”

Seulgi frowns. “Have you?”

Joohyun’s hands come to her lap, distraught eyes avoiding Seulgi’s as she answers, “I took a nap earlier.”

“Naps don’t count,” Seulgi reprimands. Her words sound softer once she says them out loud and she’s pretty sure she doesn't sound as demanding as she would like. “You’re the one who kept saying I should live a little and not focus on my job all the time.”

“I don’t even work that much!”

“Lately you do.” Seulgi sounds so defeated, like a child who just got scolded, and Joohyun pouts with how adorable she looks.

“It’s just for the winter recital, you know that.”

“Still, you should take better care of yourself.”

“I have you. And you do that better than me.”

“That’s all I am to you?” Seulgi crosses her arms over her chest, a supposedly intimidating look that only brings a laugh out of Joohyun’s lips.

“Yes, my guardian angel.” She nags at Seulgi’s arm, that annoying and convinced grin never wearing off.

Seulgi rolls her eyes good-naturedly, leaves a kiss on the top of Joohyun's head before walking away. She goes to the kitchen, coming back a few moments after grabbing a wine bottle along with two glasses.

Joohyun is still immersed in her laptop when she returns, barely sparing a glance up to where Seulgi is, and the lawyer wonders if she’s said something wrong with how quiet she is. She doesn’t dwell into it, Joohyun can be way too private sometimes, especially when she’s buried in her work.

Instead she merely pours the wine into both glasses and sits on the couch until Joohyun _finally_ looks at her direction with a small, timid smile.

“I’m done for the night,” she says, in such a low voice Seulgi doubts she would’ve heard it if the apartment wasn’t so quiet.

There’s that look on Joohyun’s face again, the one that tells Seulgi she’s hiding something, that makes Seulgi’s stomach drop in worry.

Joohyun lets out a relieved sigh, shoulders heavy and expression soft but sad as she scoots closer to Seulgi on the couch.

“Are you okay?” Seulgi concernedly asks, opening her arms so Joohyun can fit in them, and so she does.

A pause, then Joohyun says, “Yeah. Just tired.”

Seulgi debates whether to press further or not, if she should mention it at all, but the fear of overwhelming Joohyun wins and she slips down in her seat, doing her best to convey everything she wants to say in a simple hug.

Another kiss on the top of her head, a gentle hold on her hand and Joohyun’s already pulling back, but not away from Seulgi. Never from Seulgi.

And then she beams, bright and genuine as she laces their fingers together. “Now come on, tell me about your day.”

Seulgi does exactly that. Talking comes easily, the unfunny jokes even more. She’s glad Joohyun also has a dry humor.

(Maybe she doesn’t, maybe she just laughs to make Seulgi happy, but for now, she doesn’t care.)

Joohyun’s about three glasses into the wine when Seulgi notices how slow she seems, hesitant at every move she makes. The tiny giggles that she lets out every single time Seulgi opens her mouth to say something it’s actually what makes it obvious.

“Did you eat today?” Seulgi asks after a while, and Joohyun adorably frowns, as if analyzing the words to make sense of the question itself. “I feel like you’re a little bit too lightheaded for someone who’s only had two glasses and a half of wine.”

Joohyun shrugs, carefully sipping her wine once more and ignoring Seulgi completely. That’s all the answer Seulgi needs.

“There you go again forgetting meals.” She clicks her tongue, hoping to sound upbraiding, but by now she should’ve known better.

They’ve been together for ten months, after all. Seulgi should’ve known that with how big her soft spot for Joohyun is, she could never actually scold her for anything.

“It's good that I have you to remind me, isn't it?” Joohyun wisecracks, fingers at ease as she twirls the wine glass by the stem as if she had wanted a distraction for a while. “I think it’s funny how we were talking about how I should take better care of myself and yet you just _told_ me you almost didn’t eat today because you were busy with this new case.”

“That’s different, okay?” Seulgi cuts in, her index finger pointing at Joohyun accusingly yet playfully. “I always make up for it and it only happens once in a while… with you, though, it’s like an everyday situation lately. Especially when you get too engrossed changing choreos at the last minute and stuff.”

Joohyun arches an eyebrow, mutters quietly under her breath, “I hate you.”

It’s said with such seriousness it could easily pass up as a true statement, but Seulgi knows better than that, so she laughs despite herself.

“Sure you do, Hyun. Sure.” Nose squinted, she eyes Joohyun from head to toe dramatically. “You know, you look kind of hot like this.”

“I look hot when I’m mad?”

Joohyun puts the glass on Seulgi’s center table, circles the opening of the glass with her index finger, lazily dragging it over where she was drinking not long ago.

“Yeah, definitely,” Seulgi breathes out. She traces the stem of her own wine glass, similar to how Joohyun was doing before, distracted, and her eyes wander back to Joohyun, to how the shadows that adorn her face after some rays of moonlight creep through the curtains make her even prettier.

Seulgi puts the glass away, tugs at Joohyun’s wrist demanding and pulls her closer. She quickly puts her legs on either side of Seulgi’s hips and straddles her lap, tucking her face in the crook of her girlfriend’s neck, sighing in satisfaction.

“I think you’re beautiful all the time,” Seulgi says, one hand resting on Joohyun’s waist as she brings the other up just so her fingers graze between her shoulders, enough to send a few shivers down her spine.

“You do?” Joohyun asks, though distracted, arms loose around Seulgi's neck as she nods at the question.

“Yeah. Even if you have this cute pimple on your chin and your hair is a mess and you look tired, you’re the most beautiful human being in the entire universe.” Seulgi starts rubbing circles on Joohyun’s neck.

Joohyun pulls back at this, her eyes comically wide.

“I can’t help but notice you said _human_ , does that mean –”

 _“Hyunnie…”_ Seulgi groans and rolls her eyes good- naturedly. She’s not actually mad at Joohyun, _never_ at Joohyun, so she laughs and cups her girlfriend’s face with both hands. Joohyun’s smirk is teasing by the corner of her lips. “Shut up and kiss me.”

So Joohyun does.

  
  


♡

  
  


Seulgi notices the heavy steps first. How such small feet can be so loud while repeating moves that are supposed to be smooth, she isn’t sure, but she doesn’t miss it either. For such a big apartment, its acoustic is rather awful.

So, quietly, she makes her way through the hall until she’s on the second door to the left, which is slightly open, and Seulgi takes a peak through the gap.

Woojin has his lips pursed together, eyebrows furrowed as he walks over to the speakers and presses the rewind button. The song restarts and Woojin goes back to where he was standing before.

He takes in a deep breath, closes his eyes and follows the choreography’s steps perfectly, until the song begins to build up – higher and higher and he does his best to follow… until he slips, stumbling on his own feet and falling to the floor with a loud thump.

Woojin barely has the time to groan for his mistake before Seulgi is bursting the door open, grabbing him by the shoulders and holding him in place.

“Are you okay?” Seulgi asks, brushing strands of hair away from his face and looking for any sign of injury as she runs her hands over his sweaty cheeks.

“I’m fine, mom,” he replies quietly, sounding ashamed for some reason. “You can go back to the living room.”

Seulgi frowns, pulling back ever so slightly to look at her son more carefully.

“Is it because you don’t want me to see you dancing?” Woojin sighs and shakes his head. He makes no move to stand up, so Seulgi joins him on the floor. “What is it, then?”

“You were a ballerina, weren’t you?” he asks, such a tiny voice Seulgi almost doesn’t catch.

She hesitates, holds her breath for a few seconds before hushing out, “Yeah, I was.”

“Can you help me with this move?”

“I’m not sure I –”

“Please?”

“Joohyun will be here soon, it’s better if you ask her, honey.” Seulgi brushes his cheek, and he steps back to avoid the touch.

“I don’t want to ask her, mom. I want to show her I can do it by myself,” he insists. “Please, please!”

He tugs at her sleeve, pleading eyes boring into his mom’s, and the twitch to the corner of his mouth reveals how nervous he is to ask her this.

“I haven’t actually danced in a long time,” she tries to tell him, tries to find a way out without hurting either of them. But Woojin’s expression darkens, his eyes seem to dim, and Seulgi hates being who she is right now. “I can try.”

Her son beams as soon as she says it, and it’s not long until they’re both standing in the middle of his room, in front of the large mirror Seulgi had installed in there.

“How is the move again?”

Woojin gets ready to execute it, one leg gracefully in the air behind the other as he raises his arms in a perfect arc over his head, keeping his spine curved right as he bents just so. He keeps his hips squared and stable, then extends an arm out in front of him, the other curved over the _barre._

It’s not until the moment he has to change position that Seulgi notices – a tremor. It’s probably why he fell earlier too.

“See, this is called an _arabesque,_ ” she begins to explain, moving closer to her son. Seulgi holds his hips, making just a bit of pressure on the spot to explain it better to him. “It’s important you keep all your strength concentrated in your hips, right here.”

Woojin tilts his head to the side, trying to understand. He then repeats the formation, this time slower so his mother can correct him.

“Like this?”

Seulgi shakes her head.

“See, you’re still focusing on the leg that’s supporting your weight holding you _en pointe_ but that’s not what matters right now. You’re still very new to this, so there’s no need for that,” she explains it to him.

Hesitantly, Seulgi raises one of her legs behind her back to try it, but doesn’t hold the position for a second before letting it fall back to its place.

The boy watches her calmly, now standing on both feet, as his mother does her best to teach him. He doesn’t notice it at first, but Seulgi’s hands are shaky when she tries to hold them above her head again, and Seulgi swallows thickly before trying again.

“Like this.”

She feels her muscles pull and stretch, the expansion of her rib cage from her slowly drawn in breath. Seulgi holds the air in her lungs as her body bends, just like Woojin a few seconds before, a perfect juxtaposition of straight back and turned out leg.

It doesn’t last long. The pressure was there the whole moment, but it’s not until she’s holding the position for full five seconds that it completely takes over Seulgi. Her heart jackhammers against her chest, the sweat-damp material of her shirt pressing tighter and tighter as if to cut her air supply.

She storms out of the room before Woojin sees her like this, goes to her own bedroom and closes the door with a loud bang. It’s only then, when she’s sure no one else is around, that Seulgi lets herself fall to the floor.

  
  


.

  
  


“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” comes a familiar voice, like an echo from afar, trying to pull Seulgi back to reality.

She blinks, drawing in a huff of air to control her breathing. Seulgi does her best to focus in the room she’s in, on the hands that cup her face so as to not let her mind slip away again, but everything still seems so blurry and confusing and messy.

“It’s okay, sweetie. It’s okay. You’re okay,” the voice repeats, warm and smooth, like a ray of sun shining on your skin on a cold day.

Slowly, that tight feeling weighting on her chest ebbs away, the pressure around her eyes seems to lessen and Joohyun's face is the first thing Seulgi can see once she opens them again. It’s quite comforting to see she’s there still, but it bobbles painfully inside her rib cage to realize how worried she seems.

“I’m sorry, I just –” Seulgi laughs awkwardly, swallowing hard and doing her best to move away from her girlfriend’s arms. “I don’t know what came over me, I’m so sorry.”

Joohyun's hands come to her shoulders then, and the grip on Seulgi’s upper arms tightens, the feeling of warmth for her being so close becomes almost too much.

“Don’t apologize.” Her voice is firm, adamant, though her expression is a little lost. “Never apologize for this.”

“I’m – It just hasn’t happened in a while.” Seulgi sighs. At Joohyun's silence, she goes on, “The panic attacks, I mean.”

“Were they frequent?”

“It’s been a while,” Seulgi repeats, stubborn. “I haven’t had them since…”

A silence stretches between them for a moment before Seulgi lets out a shaky breath.

“You know what? It’s not important.”

“Seulgi.” Joohyun stretches a hand to prevent Seulgi from walking away from this, but it’s useless, she’s already crawling backwards to where Joohyun can’t reach her. It’s not too far away – Seulgi is still on the floor and Joohyun is on her knees, so all she needed to do was crawl forward just a bit. But she’s always been respectful of Seulgi’s personal space. “I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”

Seulgi pinches the bridge of her nose, considers her options for a few seconds before she eyes her concerned girlfriend, to the soft wrinkle that has settled in the space between her brows.

“Woojin asked if I wanted to practice with him.”

The wrinkle becomes deeper, and Seulgi feels stupid for even mentioning it.

“I know it’s silly –”

“No, it’s not. It’s not, baby, I promise.” Joohyun reassures, delicately holding Seulgi’s hands that began to move frantically. “And how did that make you feel?”

Joohyun is careful with her words, has always been, and that makes Seulgi love her a little more. It’s a touchy subject, after all; they can only go to a certain extent when talking about Seulgi’s past as a ballerina.

The question, whilst harmless, presses harder against Seulgi’s thorax and she feels in need of fresh air again. So she does what she does best, she deflects.

“I just want to get this over with. I want to support Woojin.”

She thinks of her son, waiting in his room without understanding what just happened; her son, who looks at her like she hung the moon and all stars in the sky, and her chest squeezes harder.

How is that fair to him? She thinks about Woojin being disappointed with her and it feels as if her world was just ripped apart.

“I’m sure he would understand if you said you’re not ready yet,” Joohyun offers, taking a tentative step forward. When there’s no objection, she runs a hand through Seulgi's hair, cups a side of her face with the other. It’s almost embarrassing how Seulgi gives in into the touch.

“And if he doesn’t?”

Joohyun doesn’t falter. “He will.”

Seulgi doesn’t seem convinced.

“Take it easy, okay?” Joohyun says, standing even closer. “One step at a time.”

“Joohyun…”

“One step at a time,” she insists.

Seulgi thanks the lack of judgment in Joohyun’s smile — she really, really likes to smile, and Seulgi doesn’t mind. If anything, she’s more than grateful. It feels like she has her own personal sun, as if she’s lounging by the beach and letting the sound of waves hush her to sleep.

“One step a time,” Seulgi repeats, even if the words sound strange coming out of her mouth.

  
  


.

  
  


Dinner is quiet that night. Woojin doesn’t comment about what happened earlier, neither does Joohyun, so she assumes her girlfriend talked to him when she was still hiding in her room and for that she’s thankful.

They eat in silence and when they’re done, Seulgi kisses Woojin’s forehead and reminds him she loves him very much.

He’s just eight, and yet Seulgi feels like he’s grown so much already while she wasn’t looking, so she brings him closer and wraps him in a tight hug once realization hits her. He whispers an _I love you too_ back and Seulgi finally lets him go after messing with his hair.

And then she’s alone with Joohyun.

Her girlfriend doesn’t say anything about the _incident,_ merely kisses her temple before muttering a quiet _I’ll wash the dishes_ even though she was the one who cooked.

“My ex used to make fun of me on the last days before I quit ballet,” Seulgi blurts out when Joohyun is focused on washing a plate. Her girlfriend stops what she’s doing, washes her hand and turns off the tap, finally turning around to watch Seulgi. “He said I wasn’t made for ballet. My moves were too sharp, my facial expression wasn’t good enough. Every day when I tried to practice, even if I was alone, I just couldn’t move. And when I did, all I could see was how I was terrible at it and how right he was.”

“You don’t have to –”

“I completely stopped after that,” Seulgi continues, ignoring Joohyun. “I didn’t hesitate to throw most of my stuff away and focus on law school. I didn’t really think about it anymore, not until I met you. And today, trying that arabesque, I couldn’t take my mind off of how his face was so full of hatred whenever I tried to show him what I practiced.”

Seulgi’s cheeks are wet and, embarrassed, she sharply wipes it out with the back of her hand. She sniffles, closing her eyes not to see the look on the teacher’s face.

“But Woojin wanted to impress you so bad, and I thought maybe I could help him, but…”

“You tried your best, that’s what matters,” Joohyun says under her breath. Her hands come to hold Seulgi by the nape, and she soothingly brushes her thumb on the back of her neck. “I’m sure you can do it, you can do anything! I believe in you so much, baby, so much.”

Leaning forward, Joohyun kisses both of Seulgi’s closed eyelids, her cheeks, until she simply supports her forehead on hers.

“Can I kiss you?” she whispers.

The question is sudden, definitely unexpected after such a confession, and Seulgi gives her a lopsided grin. “I thought we were past the stage of having to ask.”

Joohyun laughs and tucks her chin bashfully, shrugging when she looks back at Seulgi.

“You seem upset, that’s all. I don’t want to cross any boundaries or make you uncomfortable.” She gnaws at her bottom lip for a moment. “I just want to make you feel better.”

And all Seulgi can do is close her eyes again, because, oh, Joohyun. Her mind is nothing but echoes of Joohyun, Joohyun, Joohyun. Loving, thoughtful, caring Joohyun.

“You always do. You always make me feel like the happiest woman in the world. Come here,” she breathes, and she sighs profoundly into the soft kiss that Joohyun plants on her lips. Marvels at the pure, aching joy that blooms in her chest and dries the tears underneath her lashes.

  
  


.

  
  


Joohyun comes to Seulgi’s apartment earlier than expected after work about two weeks later, only to be met by loud laughs while the low sound of a piano is nothing but background noise.

When the door is pushed open, Seulgi stares bashfully at her girlfriend, aware of the sweat that’s covering her forehead and the stubborn strands of hair all over her head.

“Hey, Hyun,” Seulgi greets her with a smile. “I was just wrapping up with Woojinnie today.”

She watches how Joohyun's expression goes from confused, to unsure, to expectant, and Seulgi giggles like a schoolgirl while she signs to Woojin come closer.

“Kiddo, why don’t you show Hyunnie what you just learned?”

His face lightens up and he nods, running towards the speakers to press rewind. Joohyun sits by her side, not even flinching as Seulgi hugs her from the side, even though she hates when Seulgi does that when she’s sweaty.

For a moment, as she watches Woojin follow the moves for his next presentation without a single stumble, she finds out she doesn’t really care about anything else other than the boy she loves as if he’s her own.

“You were right about what you said when we were still getting to know each other,” Seulgi mumbles, not tearing her eyes away from her son. “Woojin is really too hard on himself, but I’m glad he has you. I mean, I’m glad _we_ have you to remind us there’s more to life than being perfect.”

Joohyun beams, turning her head for the briefest of seconds to look at the wide grin on her girlfriend’s face before looking back at Woojin.

“You know, that ex I told you about left this – this mark in me. He made me believe a lot of things that even now I can no longer say which one is true and which isn’t,” Seulgi goes on. She entwines her fingers with Joohyun's, still not looking at her. “But he said once that I was incapable of true love. He made me believe there was something wrong with me and I’d never know any love other than Woojin’s but not even that meant much, because it’s kind of an obligation to love your child. It’s innate.”

And for the longest time, she just sort of accepted that. She wasn’t capable of love, maybe she didn’t deserve it in the first place.

“But I know better now.”

But then, more than a year and a half ago, Bae Joohyun came crashing into her world, her unconditional affection like a glimpse of light after being kept in the dark her whole life.

  
  


♡

  
  


It’s another one of those busy days.

The kind of day Seulgi can’t see Joohyun until late at night because she had an important meeting with a client, with no free time even during lunch hours. The kind of day that only brings frustration out of her, makes her forget why she chose this job in the first place and can’t use her energy to take care of the paperwork that was left on the desk by her boss.

So, almost sensing how the day would end, Seulgi all but drags herself to the café next to the building she works. Almost in automatic mode, she waits in line for a few minutes, and steps to the counter to make her order as if she can barely keep herself up.

“Hi, good morning,” she greets the barista, a tall woman with tanned skin and bright hazel eyes that stare back at her from a small, rounded face, not even waiting for the greeting back before hushing out, “I’ll have a green tea latte and… wait,” Seulgi awkwardly stops herself, her lips turning into a straight line once she remembers that this is _so_ not her order. “Sorry, I confused things. Venti-sized iced coffee, to go.”

Seulgi tries not to make a big deal out of it. Keyword: _tries_.

The barista doesn’t comment about her slip earlier when she hands over her order and Seulgi goes back to work a few moments later, iced coffee in hands, thoughts of grumpy sulking lips crossing over her mind as she heads back to work.

  
  


.

  
  


It’s not a bother, most of the time, to think about Joohyun while she does her usual things. It’s become sort of a habit by now, actually, for Seulgi to look at something and immediately associate with her, with something she’d said or did once. But they’ve been dating for two years, so it’d be safe to assume it would be less frequent by now.

It isn’t. Seulgi doubts it ever will.

Her routine is simple – she checks in at work early, organizes some files in her desk and, in some days, she even leaves the building with Seungwan to meet with a potential client. It is supposed to go on like this today too, just another busy day, but then Seulgi thinks about the date she’d taken Joohyun the night before, their anniversary date, remembers when she took her up to the rooftop of her apartment building and how vulnerable she looked under the night lights.

(“It doesn’t feel like it,” Joohyun had said, arms crossed over her chest to stop the cold.

“Like what?” Seulgi had asked, an arm draped over Joohyun's shoulders to pull her in. She leaned closer, letting herself be squeezed by Seulgi’s arms.

“Like we’re together this long. Two years is a long time for someone whose longest relationship barely lasted six months.”

Seulgi felt the moment Joohyun stiffened in her arms, probably reclusive over talking about the past. It didn’t come easy for her to talk about _before,_ it never did. Whether it was before she cut ties with her family to follow her dream of being a ballerina, before moving to Seoul, before meeting Seulgi – it was one of the few things that Joohyun almost never talked about, and when she did, she talked about it briefly, going through everything in such a shallow way Seulgi could barely make sense of it.

“Did you think it would last?” Joohyun asked all of a sudden.

Seulgi could feel her girlfriend’s hesitation, her reservation even with such an exposing question. She knew where this was going – they’ve been there before, but that didn’t make it any easier.

“What are you talking about?” Seulgi asked, turning her head so she could have a better look at Joohyun.

Hearing Seulgi’s question, she bit her lower lip, apparently not very sure of where to even start.

“Us,” Joohyun mumbled, a little embarrassed, a little sad. The tips of Seulgi’s fingers started to trace her arm affectionately, just enough to show Joohyun that she was listening, and that she cared. “Did you think it would last?”

“It’s not like I was expecting things to go sideways all of a sudden, but I also wasn’t expecting you to stand with me for this long,” she answered, a hint of humor in her words.

“I should be the one to say that,” Joohyun argued, playfully jabbing Seulgi in the arm she’d secured around her waist.

“You know I’m right,” Seulgi said, and for once, Joohyun didn’t insist. “Aren’t you happy?”

Joohyun leaned in, tilted Seulgi’s head back by her chin. And she was smiling – that beautiful blinding smile that always made Seulgi want to kiss her until they were both unable to breathe.

“Very happy.”

She went quiet, almost fearful as the silence dragged between both of them. A hand came to rest above Seulgi’s in the parapet, soothingly squeezing it between the hesitant fingers.

“Thank you for bringing me here. You know that I love watching the stars,” Joohyun murmured. “But I greatly prefer watching it from somewhere warm. And here, with you, it feels like the warmest place on Earth.”

She gently kissed Seulgi’s cheek, and Seulgi couldn’t help but agree.)

So yes, Seulgi tries her best, really, to keep her Joohyun-related thoughts buried in the background of her mind for the day, only for her to visit later when her workload is lighter, but it doesn’t work. Her mind keeps coming back to eyes that shine a deep brown similar to the autumn leaves clinging to the very last bits of light they could, to pink lips that remind her of a rosebud.

And it’s definitely not the best time for that, but apparently, her hands have a mind of their own and before she can understand what she’s doing, the phone in her hand is already dialing someone's number.

“Weren’t you supposed to be working?” Joohyun’s playful voice sounds on the other side of the line, a small hint of confusion dripping over her words.

“Well, it’s your fault I’m not,” Seulgi lamely defends herself, pouting.

“You literally called me first,” Joohyun replies, and Seulgi can almost hear her laughing.

“Yeah,” she starts, unsure of where to go with that sentence. “Because you were distracting me.”

“Baby, should I remind you we’re in different buildings?”

Seulgi listlessly adds, “But your eyes - your eyes were assaulting me! I kept thinking about them, that’s why I couldn’t do my job.”

Joohyun’s laugh fills the room and Seulgi tries, really hard, not to join her.

“Oh, Seulgi, you’re hopeless,” Joohyun whispers tenderly and, for some unknown reason, she sounds pleased.

Despite her best efforts, Seulgi giggles too.

And then, when her laugh comes to a halt, a beat of silence hovering in the line. It’s not uncomfortable, nothing with Joohyun is, but Seulgi is more fidgety than usual, fingers twitching above the pile of paperwork on her desk.

She can almost _feel_ Joohyun's curiosity through the line.

So she simply blurts out, “You should come over later.”

“I was just there yesterday. And this morning.”

“And tonight too, I hope.”

“I guess I could do that.”

“And maybe the days after that, too…” Seulgi breathes out, like she’s letting go of a secret she’s been holding onto for a long time. It’s not a version too far from the truth, actually, she’s been wanting to ask Joohyun this for months, but always postponed, afraid it would be too soon. She chews on her bottom lip thoughtfully, suddenly embarrassed at how soft her voice turned.

The line goes quiet. Silence behaves rather oddly as it twists and contorts in the form of a weary one-way conversation. Seulgi wishes she could manipulate it to make Joohyun _understand_ what she means with that sentence.

But Joohyun is smart, way too smart for her own good, and Seulgi barely has time to reconsider her words when her girlfriend starts speaking again.

“This is really unfair, you know?” It doesn’t really sound like a complaint, but Joohyun doesn’t leave time for Seulgi to wonder if it even is one as she continues, “You should ask me properly later when I come over to your apartment. Until then, no further distractions.”

The line is quiet again, another silence wavering above before Joohyun shyly adds, “And I love you.”

She hangs up before she can even get a response and Seulgi has to lean into her chair and sigh, because _wow,_ that really took a different turn than she was expecting.

  
  


.

  
  


The problem with watching a thriller movie is that none of them is particularly a fan of the genre, but Joohyun said she needed a distraction from her day at work, something to completely take her mind off of ballet, so thriller it is.

It’s nothing too scary or heavy – not with three children who are so easily scared as they all are, but it serves its job right, and soon Woojin is dozing off on the other side of the couch, while Joohyun does her best to stay awake (even though Seulgi can tell how tired she is too).

It’s more relaxing than Seulgi would have thought, but then again, Joohyun is curled up by her side and it’s easy to lighten up when she’s with her. There isn’t any expectation to be met – it’s all effortless and familiar, Seulgi doesn’t have to try, because Joohyun will accept her no matter what.

And it’s enthralling, this freedom she’s never had before, like the first flower blooming in spring.

Seulgi trails an uneven pattern on Joohyun’s arm, suddenly feeling so warm and comfortable that she unconsciously confesses, “I almost ordered a green tea latte today, you know.”

“Really?” Joohyun perks up at that. She lifts her head slightly, only so her eyes can meet Seulgi’s and smirks, knowing how much her girlfriend hates the drink. “How did that happen?”

Seulgi shrugs. “I was thinking about you, about how I order it for you almost every day and next thing I knew…” she trails off.

Joohyun’s gaze changes, it turns gentle, it turns loving. One of her hands comes to Seulgi's knee, nuzzling the spot. “That’s actually sweet.”

And her hand is warm, her eyes are bright and soft and Seulgi has never loved anyone that much before.

“Because all I can think about is you. You’re always with me,” she croaks out, her voice nothing more than a whisper. Her heart is hammering and she can feel Joohyun’s too, like a song she’s never getting used to.

Joohyun is silent, eyes glowing as she takes in Seulgi’s words.

“You should move in with me.”

Joohyun rests her forehead on Seulgi’s. A shaky sigh escapes Seulgi’s lips as she stares at that blinding beautiful smile on her girlfriend’s lips.

“It would be fun, you know. Coming home to you every day.” Seulgi’s voice is quiet, but more steady than she expected it to be. She hopes it stays that way.

“It would?”

“Yeah. Like… I feel like I’d have a shitty day and you’d be there to make things better. You could dance to me, try to teach me new ballet moves.”

At Joohyun’s lack of an answer, Seulgi begins to ramble, afraid of a negative response.

“And I know you say this apartment is too big for me and Woojin, but you spend a lot of time here anyway and you like it, so I thought…” A crinkle appears in her forehead as she searches for the right words. “I thought maybe you’d want to…”

“Fill it?”

“Yeah,” Seulgi softly says. Her shoulders slump down, like she’s been tense for a long time and finally found a place to rest. “I know it’s not much and we’ll probably have to redecorate it to make it look more like a home, but…”

“But it would be ours.” Joohyun finishes it for her. She gently squeezes Seulgi’s shoulder to stop her rambling, her thumb brushing across her collarbone.

The smile on Joohyun’s lips then turns shy and her fingers trail up and up until her thumb brushes at Seulgi’s jaw, “I’d love to move in.”

Seulgi beams while being pulled closer, so wide her cheeks hurt.

Joohyun is right. It’s theirs, and that’s enough.

  
  


♡

  
  


It's only ten minutes into their monthly grocery shopping that Seulgi notices something’s wrong. Joohyun doesn’t say it out loud, but Seulgi’s sure she’s bothered, even though she can’t exactly tell by _what._

Joohyun is filling their trolley with thirty or so different kinds of salad, with even more nutritious snacks, and while Seulgi knows how balanced her diet is, she doesn’t think this amount of healthy food is normal for a simple person.

Joohyun is probably stressed out, her work is too much of a bother sometimes, annoying parents and all that, so that’s why Seulgi finds herself asking, although hesitant, “Do you feel like going out tomorrow?” At Joohyun’s eyebrow raise, she continues, “Jisoo texted me about this party and I…”

“I think I’ll be busy.” It’s Joohyun’s answer, cutting Seulgi off harshly.

And Seulgi doesn’t mind that Joohyun is busy sometimes. She gets it and most certainly, she doesn’t get mad for it because Joohyun apologizes as soon as the thought crosses Seulgi’s mind, holding her hand gently and stroking its back like that means the world to her while whispering, “I’m sorry, baby.”

Seulgi can’t help but lean forward to wipe out that adorable exhausted pout on Joohyun’s lips with her own.

  
  


.

  
  


Except that it’s not the first time it happens, neither is the _fourth,_ and Seulgi’s sure it won’t be the last.

She’s proven right when she comes home later than usual one night, kicking her shoes off as she practically jumps on the couch by Joohyun’s side as she goes on and on about the new case she and Jisoo, the new intern, were assigned to assess.

“Yeah, and then we were talking and she…”

“I’m sure it was great, Seul, but I don’t really want to talk about that now, okay?” Joohyun focuses back on her laptop, biting her nails – a habit Seulgi knows she only does when she’s stressed out about something.

Seulgi frowns. “Did something happen?”

“Nothing, I’m just tired. And I need to rewatch something.” Joohyun shrugs, her fingers ghosting above the keyboard before she pulls it together and starts typing again.

It’s not long until a video prompts on the screen; one that Joohyun has seen multiple times already, one that Seulgi is sure her girlfriend has already mapped out all of its flaws and mistakes.

“You’re always tired lately. Do you want a massage? Jisoo told me today that –”

“No, Seulgi, I do not want a massage. And don’t…” she stops, closing her eyes as if refraining herself from saying something else. “It’s alright. Go to bed, I’ll be there in a minute.”

But Seulgi knows something is wrong, so when Joohyun has a two hours gap in her schedule according to Yerim, she makes sure to clear her schedule too, and comes over to the ballet school to pick her and Woojin up, bringing that kale salad from the place Joohyun said she wanted to try, and some bagels and pastries just to make sure Woojin doesn’t complain about having to eat salad for his afternoon snack again.

For someone who loved vegetables not that long ago, he was certainly taking after his mom in a lot of things.

They eat together in a heavy silence they’re not used to and Seulgi and Woojin keep her company for the rest of the day. She watches as Joohyun finishes adjusting some steps, some melodies, and even prompts in when she needs it.

When the clock marks exactly 6pm, Woojin is the one who points at it with his index finger, also used to the teacher’s habit of overworking herself, and Joohyun can’t help but sigh in surrender as she gathers her things to go home.

And then, as they leave the studio, even inside the building, even with many other employers still there, Seulgi takes Joohyun’s hand and entwines their fingers because she knows how much Joohyun likes when Seulgi decides to show everyone she’s _hers._

Her point is proven right when she looks over to the side and there it is – Joohyun is biting the inner side of her cheek to stop herself from smiling too bright, so Seulgi holds her hand more firmly and kisses her knuckles, right there in the open, for everyone else to see.

“You know I love you right?” And then Joohyun’s eyes turn softer, sparkling, and she tucks a loose strand of hair back behind Seulgi’s ear.

“Yeah. I do.”

  
  


.

  
  


It’s only a couple of weeks later when Joohyun actually meets Jisoo and _her boyfriend_ at a game night hosted in their apartment with all of their friends.

Seulgi is all smiles at how easily they get along, at how Joohyun laughs at her jokes like they’ve known each other for a long time, at how her girlfriend looks over at her while she’s finishing things up in the kitchen and gives her an apologetic grin that Seulgi can’t help but smile back.

“Jisoo’s nice,” Joohyun says hesitantly as soon as she joins Seulgi in the kitchen, after everyone left the apartment.

“You’re not jealous?”

“Never.” Joohyun pinches her arm, jokingly, before chewing on her bottom lip nervously.

“You don’t have to be jealous. I’d choose you over anyone anytime.”

“Anytime?”

Joohyun stares for a minute, quite lovingly, lets herself be pulled in for their lips to meet before Seulgi reassures her, “Every single time.”

♡

  
  


“I don’t really understand what you’re talking about. It’s too late for that,” Seulgi weakly argues, groggy, and rubs her eyes to keep herself awake as she sits by Joohyun’s side on the couch. It’s a lie, both of them know it, but it’s two in the morning and Seulgi doesn’t really want to know about how Joohyun will be attending a party next weekend.

“Please," Joohyun scoffs. "It’s not that late.”

She raises an eyebrow, not the least bit convinced with her excuse, drawing a long sigh from Seulgi’s lips.

Seulgi shrugs. “It’s just… I’m not sure I want to go. I’m not in the mood to go to a party, you know?”

“Not even for me and Woojin?” Joohyun asks, head tilted to the side as she lays a hand above Seulgi’s.

Seulgi looks down to their joined hands, biting her lower lip for longer than she should as she reconsiders. And then her shoulders feel weak and they slump down, but her eyes are as gentle as she can manage to let them be.

“Sure. I’ll go.”

“You’re so weak, Seul,” Joohyun giggles softly, as if expecting the answer already.

Seulgi squints her nose. “Shut up or I’m taking it back.”

“You won’t.”

“I could.” Seulgi arches an eyebrow.

Joohyun smiles, bashful, before capturing Seulgi’s lips with her own.

She stays there even after they part the kiss, her fingers ghosting over the sides of Seulgi’s face before standing up and getting back to her laptop.

“You should really take a rest, Joohyun,” Seulgi says when she notices Joohyun is not coming to bed anytime soon.

Joohyun only shrugs nonchalantly. “I’m fine.”

“Five minutes won’t hurt,” Seulgi almost begs, voice so tender Joohyun looks up at her with eyes twinkling.

“I’ll finish in a while, I promise,” she promises.

But it doesn’t come to it, because when Seulgi looks at her again, there she is – with her head lying on top of the music sheets she was supposed to be reviewing, a frown in her forehead and her lips slightly parted. So carefully, but with a familiar ease for doing this before, Seulgi carries Joohyun in her arms and brings her to bed.

Seulgi takes her hair out of her face and, sleepily, Joohyun mumbles, quite incoherently, “Five minutes. Now cuddle me.”

And Seulgi does just that, ignoring the music sheets on the table that Joohyun would surely wake up in a bit to finish reviewing.

So for now, she relents and lies by her side, because turns out, Joohyun was right and Seulgi is weak, but only when it comes to her.

  
  


.

  
  


And exactly because she is weak, Seulgi attends said party the next weekend, even though she’s alone most of the time while Joohyun talks to the other guests and Woojin plays with his friends.

Even though she feels out of place while everyone else talks about ballet related stuff that she doesn’t really understand anymore, she doesn’t care, because this party is important to Joohyun, so that means it’s important to her, too.

Eventually, probably noticing her discomfort, Yerim, another teacher who’s friends with Joohyun, approaches her. They’ve known each other for quite some time now, and at this point Seulgi would dare say they’re more than acquaintances, but she’s not really sure of how much. She can never really tell with Yerim.

Yerim stops by her side on the bar, crossing her arms as she follows Seulgi’s eyes that are lovingly focused on Joohyun as she talks to someone she doesn’t know, but dragged her away as if not noticing Seulgi was by her side.

“You’re good to her,” Yerim says. Her voice becomes the most genuine Seulgi’s ever heard as she cracks an honest smile. “I don’t know unnie for that long, but from what I’ve gathered you’re the first person who’s been this kind and understanding to her. After everything she’s been through… that’s the least she deserves.”

Seulgi is not really sure what she should say, but appreciates Yerim’s words.

Yerim doesn’t say anything else either, but even if she did, Seulgi wouldn’t pay much attention anymore. She can feel that they’re being watched, so she raises her eyes to check and she’s right, Joohyun’s eyes are on them, but she doesn’t seem mad – rather happy, if Seulgi were to be honest.

“She looks beautiful tonight, doesn’t she?” Yerim comments, taking a sip of the drink the bartender just gave her.

Staring at Joohyun, Seulgi gives her a closed mouth smile – like the compliment was for _her,_ not Joohyun.

“Yeah, she really does.”

“And you two look great together,” she nonchalantly adds.

She waves her hand in casual dismissal, but the stubborn smile persists against her will.

Seulgi beams, ready to say something about it, but Yerim merely waves her head before walking away. It’s only when she looks to her side that she notices Joohyun coming closer, her expression falling slightly apologetic.

“I’m sorry, that took longer than expected. I promise I’m all yours for the rest of the party.” She chuckles, easily finding Seulgi’s hand and lacing their fingers together.

Seulgi raises an eyebrow, squinting her eyes and bringing Joohyun closer. “Only for the party?”

Joohyun rolls her eyes, already used to it after three years of relentless teasing. “Forever, if you’ll have me.”

Seulgi laughs. “I was aiming for the rest of the night, but forever sounds nice.”

“You’re terrible.” The teacher groans playfully, leaving Seulgi's arms.

“Please, you love me.”

Joohyun doesn’t smile at the teasing and Seulgi feels her stomach churn, uncomfortably, even though her rational side says she’s overthinking this.

Before she can come up with something to say though, Joohyun is already touching the side of her face with those startling vivid orbs staring right at her, like Joohyun could see through Seulgi. In all honesty, Seulgi wouldn’t mind if she did.

“I do love you. Very much, if you’re still doubting it.” Her words are quiet, barely above a whisper, and Seulgi’s stomach does that weird flip it always does when Joohyun says something as simple yet as meaningful as that.

“And I love you too, of course,” Seulgi says with a smile.

A smile she can’t take off even when they’re back home and Woojin is tucked away in his room, even while they’re kissing and Seulgi’s struggling to close their bedroom door without letting go of Joohyun’s lips.

A smile that still threatens to not leave her face even when Joohyun goes to the bathroom to shower and get ready for bed, even though Seulgi knows there’s no need to keep smiling anymore, not while Joohyun is not even close.

A smile that doesn’t wear off even after Joohyun comes back and snuggles close, hiding herself inside Seulgi’s embrace like it’s a safe place, the only safe place she’s ever known.

“Did you mean it?” Seulgi finds herself asking after a while the room’s been dark. Joohyun stirs in the bed, hums for Seulgi to continue. “When you said forever. Did you mean it?”

Seulgi can feel Joohyun stiffen in her arms, and reassuringly enough, she hopes, she draws random circles on her back, trying to soothe her.

Joohyun raises her head to meet Seulgi’s eyes and with a shy yet loving expression, carefully nods, like it’s a secret she can’t let anyone else find out.

“It sounds awfully corny now that I think about it.”

“I meant it too. Forever with my girl… it’s the best thing I could ask for.”

Joohyun smiles, bites the inside of her cheek, and Seulgi decides that being corny sometimes is nice – especially if Joohyun reacts like that every time she acts like it.

“Your girl, huh?” Joohyun teases, though halfhearted, and presses their lips together for what seems to be the hundredth time that night. “I love being your girl.”

♡

The first thing Seulgi expected to wake up to was cold. A cold, empty room, and an even emptier apartment, no sign of her girlfriend anywhere, except for maybe a note on the bedside table with a slack apology saying how she needed to be at work early in the morning when Seulgi knew there was more to it.

Instead, soft, gentle kisses being pressed all over her face brings her back from sleep and the smell of strawberries and vanilla graces her nostrils first thing in the morning.

When she opens her eyes, Joohyun is hovering her, hands supporting her weight as she bends down over and over to continue kissing Seulgi. Her hair falls around her face like curtains, and her smile radiates like sun rays in the summer.

Despite the fatigued look in her eyes, she’s still the most beautiful woman Seulgi had ever seen.

“Good morning,” Joohyun whispers warmly, kissing the corners of Seulgi's lips before stepping away.

“Morning...” Seulgi says, voice still hoarse with sleep.

She’s about to pull her girlfriend back to bed, be a little sly like she is every morning, but she manages to stop herself right on time. It’s probably not the best time to do that, not without settling everything right after the argument they had the night before.

She doesn’t get the chance to do that at that moment, though. Something else catches her eye before she can act. There’s someone else in the room, someone standing in the corner focused on what he holds in his hands, struggling to balance a white tray with breakfast.

“Happy birthday, mom,” Woojin says, finally walking over to where she is.

Seulgi sits properly on the corner of the bed then, and Woojin takes advantage of the position to finally place the tray on her lap. He all but drags himself to sit on his mother's left side, while Joohyun settles for the small empty space on her girlfriend's right.

“Happy birthday,” Joohyun wishes quietly, kissing Seulgi's temple, who has a deep frown between her brows.

“You told me you needed to go work today.”

It’s a little embarrassing how obviously annoyed she is. And sure, she knows Joohyun’s workload has gotten heavier after she decided to take more classes to teach, but Seulgi didn’t expect that this would interfere with spending her _birthday_ with her. It’s a special date (and a Saturday of all days!), of course Joohyun could take a day off.

So imagine her surprise the day before when Joohyun told her they wouldn’t see each other until it was night.

Joohyun’s lips tug upwards. “No, not today.”

The corners of Seulgi's mouth stretch into an open, relaxed smile. She doesn’t want to sound selfish or dependent, but she doubts she’d be able to enjoy her birthday without Joohyun – even if they’re not fully in good terms yet.

She then turns to the other side, the left, where Woojin sits with a large smile, watching them both expectantly. Seulgi runs a hand through his wavy hair, slowly messing it up and letting his smile widen when she sees how quickly the wide grin turns into a grimace.

“Besides,” Joohyun adds. “Woojin made me promise I wouldn’t tell you that I would stay here today. He wanted it to be a surprise.”

At that, Seulgi turns back to Joohyun.

“I see. So you and my own son are joining forces against me. That’s interesting.” She squints her eyes, making Joohyun roll her eyes and Woojin pushes her arm jokingly.

“Is it really against you if we did something _for_ you?” Joohyun counters back, earning a giggle from her girlfriend.

Her laugh dies slowly, and Seulgi’s eyes can only focus on the tray that’s still on her legs.

“Did you like it?” Woojin asks, a little afraid, but doing his best to sound confident.

The lawyer looks at the boy with shining eyes. Woojin had grown so much in the span of four years that he almost seemed like a different person. But Seulgi knows his details inside out, and can still see her little boy by the heart shape of his nostrils, the feline eyes she adores, that tiny little mole on his right cheek.

“I'll tell you after I try it, but I'm sure it’s great,” she reassures. His expression changes in a matter of seconds.

It’s amazing how something as simple as that always made him so much lighter. Joohyun always said that he had way too many of his mother's personality traits, after all.

“I know I said we did it, but Woojin made most of it. He cut the portions and I just stewed some of it,” Joohyun makes sure to explain. “Seungwan has been teaching him how to cook.”

One of Seulgi's eyebrows goes up. Not provocative, but genuinely surprised.

“He’s eleven.”

“I guess it’s never too early.” Joohyun giggles.

Turning to Woojin, Seulgi says, “So that's why you're spending so much time there.”

Woojin shrugs, not looking ashamed, but a silent admission that his mother is right.

“And you knew and you didn't tell me anything,” Seulgi adds, narrowing his eyes once again. “The theory that you two are joining forces against me is starting to sound a lot more than just a simple theory to me.”

But instead of feeling affected or annoyed, Joohyun smiles and rolls her eyes, pointing at the food on Seulgi's chopsticks with her chin.

“Just eat your food, silly.”

And so Seulgi does, grabbing a large piece of kimchi with her chopsticks and as she closes her lips around the bite, her eyes widen instantly. She barely has the time to chew it and appreciate how tasty the food is before Woojin starts hovering again.

“So... did you like it? Is it good?”

Seulgi hasn't even finished chewing when she’s about to nod, almost opening her mouth to speak, but Joohyun looks at her out of the corner of her eye, and that’s enough for her to keep quiet.

After swallowing the first piece, she looks at her girlfriend with curious eyes, like those of a stubborn child, and when Joohyun nods, she turns to the boy beside her with a smile.

“It tastes amazing, kid. Really,” Seulgi assures, excited. She lightly brings the boy closer by the shoulder, whispering in his ear, “So much better than Hyun's.”

Woojin snorts, puffed cheeks revealing how badly he wants to laugh. Joohyun doesn’t even have to try that hard to know what Seulgi said.

She rolls her eyes dramatically, but the teasing smile ruins it for her.

“You’re such a kid, Seulgi-ah,” Joohyun jokes, and Seulgi's lips turn into a sly pout.

“You love me anyway.”

Joohyun sighs loudly before looking at Woojin, who’s looking at the two women with an amused smile, although he should have been used to all that harmless banter by now.

“Yeah, I do.” The confession is quiet, spoken barely above a whisper in the hopes of Seulgi not listening to her, but she should know better. Seulgi is already grinning from ear to ear when she looks up. “But I love Woojin more. At least he doesn't speak ill of me behind my back.”

She reaches out to play with the boy's hair, and smiles once she notices how he almost purrs with it. He has the habit of acting like a cat sometimes, just like his mom.

Before Seulgi can say anything more, however, she signs to the tray on the woman's lap with her free hand. “And finish eating soon, we will leave in a few minutes.”

“Yes, ma'am.” Seulgi quickly replies, obediently, before putting another piece of food in her mouth. She chews on it slowly, savoring each piece, and when she realizes that Joohyun is distracted again, Seulgi makes a point of adding, “And just so you know, I love you too.”

She knows it’s not much. There was nothing surprising about saying that she loved Joohyun after so many years together, but she also knew they’ve been going through a lot lately.

But to see Joohyun smile like that? She’d say it at every hour if she had to.

  
  


.

  
  


After showering, Seulgi walks over to the kitchen in careful steps. Joohyun is there, washing the few dishes that are left from breakfast. She is humming to a random song while she does so, the ends of her lips twitching for a smile every once in a while.

Seulgi looks at her for a moment while she’s distracted with the song, and can’t help her own smile spreading up. She really is so lucky.

Seulgi is already walking towards Joohyun and putting her arms around her waist before she can think better of it. She feels her girlfriend sigh shakily, but press herself a bit back to enjoy the hug, and Seulgi takes the moment to hide her face in the back of the teacher's neck.

“So...” Joohyun trailed, opening the tap to wash the soap out of her hands. “I take it that you're not mad at me anymore.”

Seulgi pouts against the skin on Joohyun's neck and holds her tighter.

“I wasn't mad...”

“You were.” Joohyun cuts her off, as she moves carefully around the kitchen to find a towel to dry her hands. Seulgi sighs, not even budging while Joohyun drags her around the kitchen.

“Okay, maybe a little bit.” Seulgi admits. She closes her eyes, feels Joohyun touch her arms that are on her stomach. “I was just sad. I thought you weren't as invested in this relationship as I was. It seemed like you were looking for a way out.”

“Seulgi, for how long have we been together?” Joohyun starts, and before she can go on, Seulgi already knows where this conversation is headed.

“Four years.”

“Exactly. Four amazing years.” Gently, she holds Seulgi’s hands and releases herself from the hug. Turning around to face her girlfriend, she carefully cups her face. “Of course I’m as invested in this relationship as you.”

“I know that. I know, it was just in the moment.” Seulgi sighs, embarrassed as she leans into the touch. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, don’t apologize. We both said things we didn’t mean last night.” Joohyun bites the inside of her cheek.

“Can we talk about it better when we come back?” The lawyer asks, slowly, to which Joohyun simply nods. She leans in a bit more, and the older of the two is quick to catch the notion of what she wants as she leans forward too, pressing a kiss to her lips. “Good. I just want to enjoy today with my two favorite people in the world.”

Surprised, Joohyun coughs awkwardly and pulls away ever so slightly. “About that…”

“Oh, no,” Seulgi says, frowning at the sudden odd behavior. “What is it?”

“Uh, nothing,” Joohyun laughs, although it’s still strained. “It’s just – I might’ve asked Seungwan and Sooyoung to come too. And Yerim.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“I mean…” Seulgi starts, putting on a bit of a show by simply staring at her girlfriend for five whole seconds before she adds, “It’s not that bad. I’m sure I can handle a day with my two favorite people and… the people I stand sometimes.”

Joohyun throws her head back and giggles, a lot more freely this time. “I’ll tell them that.”

Once she notices the teacher pulling away, Seulgi is quick to grab her by the hand and pull her closer. “No, don’t tell them. I’m joking! You know Seungwan wouldn’t let me live if she heard this.”

It’s very subtle how Joohyun melts into the contact, but instant, and Seulgi can’t deny the wave of pride that’s rushing through her veins.

“Yeah, she wouldn’t,” she relents, closing her eyes, and Seulgi takes the moment to scoot even closer, grabbing her by the nape and kissing the slope of her nose, cheeks, and even the space between her brows. “We need to get ready.”

“I know.”

“Really, if we’re late they’re not going to let us breathe.”

Seulgi giggles, still kissing every spot she can find. She moves lower, until her lips are brushing against Joohyun’s jaw. “I know.”

Joohyun breathes out, shaky and deep. “Seul…”

“I just missed you a lot,” she whispers, freezing in place. She knows Joohyun is probably overthinking (she is, most of the time), probably wondering if she went too far last night to the point of sleeping in the couch, so Seulgi lets go of her nape, hands easing their way until they’re at Joohyun’s lower back so she can hide in the crook of her neck. “Let’s stay like this a bit longer. Please?”

There’s no answer, not an immediate one, and Seulgi can simply feel how stiff Joohyun is. She hasn’t moved an inch yet, but once she’s about to point that out, her girlfriend’s arms are already circling her waist to pull her closer.

“Yeah,” she lets out. “Just a bit.”

They should’ve known. It’s not the first time it happens, but when a thump of something falling pulls them out of their own world, both of them find out they’re not as bothered as they thought they’d be if someone interrupted them.

“I’m sorry,” Woojin says, white pearl teeth evident as he sheepishly grins at the object on the floor. They’re quick to notice he’s not embarrassed by it, not at all, if judging by the way he hops over to where they are. “We’re going to be late! Come on!”

Joohyun is the first to laugh, loud and free – Seulgi’s favorite laugh.

“Fine, honey. I’ll get ready.” She presses a quick kiss to Seulgi’s cheek, but when she starts moving to walk away, the lawyer brings her even closer, doing the same with Woojin.

“Family hug!” she yells, way too excited.

Joohyun groans, still laughing, and Woojin simply complains once again how they’re going to be late. Still, he doesn’t resist.

The hug is brief, not even a minute, but it sure feels a lot more than that.

  
  


.

  
  


It’s late in the afternoon, when the sun is setting that Joohyun begins to move a lot more than she should on the picnic table.

Seulgi doesn’t notice it at first, too engrossed in watching how Yerim is running after Woojin in the park, claiming he’s already had way too many snacks; how Seungwan is leaning into Sooyoung’s hug, both of them laughing at the other two messing around. But once Joohyun accidentally sighs a little bit too loud, Seulgi is forced to look at her with concern.

She doesn’t have a chance to ask her what’s wrong though; they’ve agreed a long time ago to be vocal about what’s bothering them.

“I wanted to talk with you about something,” she blurts out.

Seulgi frowns. “What is it?”

“Our apartment?” Joohyun says, though it sounds a lot more like a question. “I was thinking maybe we could move somewhere else.”

At that, Seulgi’s frown deepens. “And why’s that?”

“Well, I always thought our apartment was too big, you know that,” Joohyun starts, unsure. “Even with all three of us there it still feels too big, so I thought maybe we should go somewhere cozier?”

Biting the inside of her cheek, Seulgi's mind instantly goes back to their argument the day before, to the moment Joohyun said not everyone feels comfortable living off of someone else’s money.

“This is not about what we argued yesterday, is it? About you feeling like you owe me, or something?” she asks, an octave lower to make sure no one else can hear them. Joohyun always liked to keep their things to themselves, and Seulgi had always respected that.

“You know it’s not that. I don’t feel like I owe you, it’s just…” Joohyun sighs. “I want to help more. And if what I’m working on with Yerim pays off, I’ll be able to in a while. But not now.”

“That’s what couples do, Hyun. They help each other out in situations like this,” Seulgi tiredly repeats.

That topic has come a lot more frequently lately, ever since Joohyun mentioned how she’s planning to build her own studio with Yerim, and knowing the stubborn girlfriend she has, Seulgi is sure it won’t be the last time. But it’s fine, it’s completely okay – Seulgi will just have to remind Joohyun more often that they’re in this together, and pull off if she needs to.

“Hyun?” Seulgi calls out after a while in silence, to which Joohyun simply nods. The lawyer’s eyes are still looking ahead, watching as Yerim finally manages to grab Woojin’s snacks and how dramatically he reacts to it. “Well, you said the apartment was too big for us three. But what about us four?”

If possible, it’s even quieter now – no other sounds other than Yerim and Woojin’s bantering from afar and the muffled chirping of birds.

“Four?” Joohyun croaks out, unsure.

“Yeah, four.” Seulgi shrugs, does her best to act like it’s not a big deal. “I was thinking about that talk we had a few months ago.”

“Seulgi...”

“No, I mean it. I really mean it,” Seulgi promises, taking Joohyun's hands on the table in hers.

“No. You were right, Seul. We’re not even married.”

Seulgi’s lips stretch into a wide grin as she says, “Then let’s marry,” as if it’s the most logical answer.

“That was the weakest proposal I’ve ever heard.” Joohyun snorts.

“I haven’t proposed yet.”

“That sounded like a proposal to me.”

“It wasn’t, dummy,” Seulgi rolls her eyes. “Maybe a pre-proposal? So I know you wouldn’t embarrass me by saying no.”

Joohyun huffs as if offended, moving over the table only to smack her girlfriend’s arm and go back to her seat.

“But I mean it,” Seulgi goes on. “We've been together for a long time. Marrying would only be a formal arrangement so we can have our kids. And you know how much of a dedicated partner I am.”

“This is so unfair. Of course you’d make an awful good case about marrying you, you’re a lawyer.”

Seulgi rises from her seat, circling the table until she’s sitting on Joohyun’s side. She throws an arm over Joohyun's shoulder, leaning in to whisper in her ear, “I’m good at everything I do, that’s why you should consider it. I want to give Woojin all the siblings in the world as soon as possible!”

Joohyun squirms under Seulgi’s hug.

“Baby, please. One more is enough,” she whines.

Seulgi groans playfully. She gets all her other arguments ready, all of them at the tip of her tongue, but she doesn’t have a chance to say any of them out loud – not when she notices Woojin racing towards them while he yells something.

Seulgi can’t quite understand it at first, not until he’s closer and pouting, “Moms, moms!” He stops in front of them, catching his breath before asking, “Mom, can I get some more snacks? Yerim noona keeps messing with me.”

He’s mostly in front of Joohyun now, who isn’t moving for some reason, asking directly to her even though Seulgi is also there.

“Let her have some,” the lawyer replies for her, but takes a few more snacks out of the bag they brought anyway. “Just share, okay? Don’t eat everything by yourself and don’t let her do that either.”

“Sure. Thanks!” And then he’s running off again.

It’s not until two full minutes after, two full minutes without a single word from Joohyun that Seulgi realizes something.

Moms. Not mom, and Joohyun noona. _Moms._

“Did you hear that?” Joohyun finally breaks the silence, voice quivery.

“I did.” Seulgi brings her closer, leaving a kiss on the top of her still static girlfriend. “Sounds nice, doesn’t it?”

And maybe she’s pushing it, maybe she’s going a little bit too far with the whole _I want to have kids_ thing, but she doesn’t manage to care. Not when Joohyun simply brings herself closer to Seulgi, not when she looks up at her with such glossy eyes.

“It really does.”

♡

  
  


They go to Ansan for the New Year’s that year, monopolizing Seulgi’s parents' space more than Joohyun would like to admit. They all eat dinner together the first night like they always do and they talk, laugh and drink, talk about embarrassing childhood memories.

It’s cozy and familiar. Being with Joohyun, with _their_ son, with her family, makes Seulgi realize how it all fits together, how it feels like she’s been roaming around her whole life looking for a place to rest only to give up and come home to realize she had already found it.

  
  


.

  
  


“Are you feeling okay?” Seulgi asks a while after dinner ends, side by side with Joohyun as she leans on the balcony exactly how her girlfriend’s doing.

Joohyun shakes her head in dismissal. “Yeah, just a headache.”

“You promise?” Seulgi presses further and Joohyun caresses her back, trying to soothe her somehow.

“I do.”

Seulgi lifts her head. Looking into Joohyun’s eyes, she finds herself becoming a bit breathless, speechless. It’s difficult to think about anything else if not those orbs that seem to carry the glow of all stars in them.

“Maybe love is gradual.”

The words, so innocent, so nonchalant, tug Seulgi’s heart like a breath of fresh air and she has to inhale deeply to keep herself from making a fool of herself.

(Not that Joohyun would be surprised. Seulgi’s sure she’s done that multiple times already.)

“What do you mean?”

“You know, I think I’m in love with you ever since I met you but… everyday it’s like I love you even more,” she tilts her head to the side, seeming genuinely pensive. “Does it make sense?”

Joohyun looks so beautiful like this – with moonlight only illuminating her backside, the shadows adorning her face look lovely. Selfishly, Seulgi feels sort of giddy no one else is here to see how beautiful she is.

“There you go with the smooth talk,” she manages to say, although lowly.

“Hey, I’m serious!” Joohyun nudges at her side.

“Okay, then,” Seulgi settles, laughs, but doesn’t add anything else.

Joohyun extends her hand, touching the back of Seulgi’s hesitantly before setting it on top of her hand with a gentle squeeze.

“Joohyun?” Seulgi calls out this time, more broken, more unsure.

“Yeah.” She smiles, but Seulgi doesn’t return. Her hands are shaky and her eyes are starting to lose its focus.

“It does make sense… what you said. I feel the same way.” Seulgi takes out a small bag she put in her pocket, worried Joohyun would find it strange to see a square shape on her jeans and holds it in her fist tightly. “For a long time, I thought that was it for me. I had Woojin and that was enough. I didn’t need anything else, I didn’t _want_ anyone else. And then I met you. You cracked my walls with your warmth and your earnestness, and your heart spilled so much love into the lives of all those around you.”

Joohyun's head is tilted to the side, eyes wide but oh, so loving, and a rush of fear runs through Seulgi's body.

“And I’ve never been so brave about anything, but I’m confident enough when I say I could run and search everywhere, but in the end, all roads would lead me right back to this moment. To you.”

Seulgi feels Joohyun's breath hitch at the quiet confession. Heat rises up on her neck and she bites down on her bottom lip, telling herself to stay calm in order to not slur her words together.

“So... how do you feel about forever now?” she opens her palm. It’s a light and delicate rose gold ring with jewels placed into the band itself, a single discreet diamond in the middle. It’s minimalist and beautiful in a classy way.

Seulgi waits, patiently, but instead of an answer, a verbal one at least, Joohyun only nudges her shoulder. Her eyes are the glimmering color of brown, sparkling in the light like the morning sun with unshed tears. And when she lifts her face to the sky, brown shifts lighter under the moonlight.

“Sometimes I forget how good you are with words,” Joohyun says, instead, tears welling up at the corners of her eyes.

“I mean, I do talk for a living,” Seulgi teases, earning herself a smack on the shoulder.

Joohyun leans forward, takes Seulgi’s hand in her own and after closing it to a fist, places it right above her chest, where her heart thumps rapidly.

She presses their lips together before Seulgi can make sense of what’s currently happening, before Seulgi can even put the ring in her finger.

It’s sweet, chaste, and Seulgi doesn’t quite know what to do with herself or with her hands until they sloppily fall on the back of Joohyun’s neck.

“Forever sounds perfect to me.”

  
  


.

  
  


“She’s wonderful, isn’t she?” Seulgi dreamily smiles, showing the ring on Joohyun’s finger when they’re all gathered at the living room.

Her brother snorts, snuggling closer to his girlfriend on the couch, Woojin groans something that sounds like ‘gross’, her parents beam and Joohyun – oh, Joohyun, she can only hide her face on the crook of Seulgi's neck as she stifles a laugh. But Seulgi knows she’s right, and wants to yell it for everyone else to hear.

For now, though, she’s happy to share the moment only with them.

  
  


.

  
  


Later, they snuggle in bed together – Seulgi fondling Joohyun’s engagement ring like it’s a living thing. Woojin is right between them, hugging Joohyun’s waist after complaining he didn’t want to sleep alone in that big guest room because of a nightmare, and he snores soundly as he completely surrenders to sleep.

It’s not the most comfortable they’ve been, Seulgi’s well aware, but it feels cozy either way.

“I mean it, you know,” Seulgi hums, voice hoarse from sleep.

Drowsy, Joohyun peers open an eye, her other hand coming to Seulgi’s cheek as she blinks excessively and faces Seulgi, a weak way of promising to be awake and listening.

“You really are wonderful. Not because of how you look, or how smart you are, even though all of the above are also correct, but mostly because you’re _you_ and… and you’re mine.”

Joohyun traces Seulgi’s profile, the outline of her eyes, nose, and mouth. She relaxes her thumb on her lips, holding Seulgi’s face between her palms.

Seulgi can feel her rapid heartbeat, wonders if Joohyun feels it, too.

“I’m all yours. Forever, if you’ll have me,” Joohyun whispers like a promise, kissing the tip of Seulgi’s nose.

Slowly, Joohyun circles her waist and closes her eyes, her breath becoming heavier.

Memories of being back in that bus headed to Seoul all those years ago hit Seulgi of a sudden, thoughts of how worried she was to leave home at such a young age – especially with such a big responsibility like a child.

Seulgi remembers how concerned she was of not being fit for the big city as she moved into her first apartment, and to remember Joohyun has felt the same sends warmth to her chest. It’s nice to think how they’ve both been through the same thing, but managed to find each other in the end; managed to find a place to rest, to belong.

The memory of being scared was overwhelming back then, especially after Woojin's father died – that’s how she spent most of her life, after all. But the steady rise and fall of Joohyun’s chest and the press of her cheek against Seulgi’s shoulder as she snores softly make her feel safe now, and the warm feeling of their son’s body between them keep her grounded.

And it’s strange to think about that when she’s back at her childhood house, snuggling the two people she loves the most in a rather normal sized double bed, but no, Seulgi doesn't miss Ansan that much.

Not when home is wherever Woojin and Joohyun are.

And maybe it’s a mistake; making a home out of people she loves doesn’t mean she should be any less afraid of losing that home, but for now, she doesn’t care. Not at all.

If there’s one thing she’s learned these past years is to take one day at a time, and so she does.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for those of you who don't know, my twitter is @tinyrene :) feel free to talk to me about whatever!


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